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post-partum reflections.

2012-01-27T10:23:00.000-08:00

i wrote about visiting the public hospital's maternity ward awhile back - i haven't just let it lie like so often happens around these parts (these parts = my heart). i am so scared sometimes of being vulnerable, that i just steer clear. i am involved in a number of activities - most just peripherally, one (another post when i can.... oooo, vague) way more intimately. but seeing the conditions, talking with the teenage moms-to-be, holding the babies... it touched me in a way i just haven't been touched in a long time.

i've always had a soft spot for mom's - especially teen-age ones - but it wasn't until i had my own that i knew that this is where my heart was. i had been given tools before we even thought of having children that would make our lives as a family easier (not easy!), and even though i didn't have this impoverished birth experience, i also didn't have a luxurious one. i knew what i wanted and what is good for babies. i was able to choose a doctor, to express opinions and concerns.

that doesn't always happen in the public hospital, and it happens much less frequently for under-educated teenagers.

i've been back to the hospital a few times. i don't really have any sell-able skills to offer, but i'm really good at encouraging women to breastfeed (that's another post for another day!) and just talk to them about their concerns. i like talking to the nurses to find out what is going on and where we might be able to find more help for these women.

my creole is crap, but a quick prayer usually brings a smile to mom's face.

i took my dad to the hospital in december to hand out some diapers and sanitary pads to the recien paridas - i also cleaned out our closets and took ten sheet sets and some baby blankets. it was heartbreaking, really, to see babies lying on sheet-less hospital beds - no incubators, no separate space for mom to relax and sleep before heading home to countless, sleepless nights. no on-call nurse system for a quick injection of pain medicine.

i don't know what this looks like for the future - but i know that it is where i need to be. where i need to be present as some encouragement for the patients and nurses. i hope to get more involved, but i just don't know how that looks. i continue to work with the midwives for the dominican republic, and hope to become more involved as they establish themselves more in the country.

if you know of any place to get post-partum info that i could study, or anything that might be of benefit to new moms, please let me know!

reason #243

2012-01-26T11:24:00.000-08:00

this may sound super simple to some, but one of the many reasons that i love raising my kids in this country is that they don't take things for granted. (this is not a social commentary, it's about my family and how we work... i know there are kids in the states who don't take everything for granted and are grateful for simple wonders. we have worked hard and intentionally to try to instill certain things in our kids, and that's what's important to us.)

we don't frequent too many places with blow-driers in the bathrooms, but one of the supermarkets has one of the new, high-speed/low-heat models. o.m.g.

the kids went crazy and stood under that thing for e.v.e.r.

i love that they appreciate those small things because they are not bombarded by it all.the.time.

this is why we discourage using the ladder.

2012-01-24T18:30:00.000-08:00

i used to spend a lot more time working with short-term missions groups and other foreign do-gooders in the country. it's something i really enjoy, but just don't really have time to dedicate to anymore what with working a real job and kids and my own philanthropy (or let me be less pretentious and say "things i do that make me feel good about myself).

whenever i work with construction groups, or even groups where a ladder might be present, i give a what seems to be a funny lecture. anything that needs height added to YOU, find a dominican to do it. DO NOT GET ON A LADDER. mostly it has to do with insurance claims and a history of coverage problems stemming from "not-proper" laddering. (i know, insurance companies come up with crazy terminology).

when there are no ladders, there has to be some creativity, and, well... sometimes that creativity might look shifty to an insurance guy.

this guy needed to get that piece of white cloth down from a light fixture. he and his friends looked around for a few minutes, tugged at the cloth and then decided to improvise. not a bad idea, at all, especially with the boss breathing down your back to get those wedding decorations out of my rancho tipico restaurant before the tourists find somewhere more... typical.

the guys stack up two tables, look up and realize it's not tall enough. another table might be uncomfortable to climb on... so we'll add a very un-study white chair and then send up the skinniest guy.

he got it down and nobody died. thankfully, insurance men could have had a field day writing letters about why they just really couldn't cover the accident!

milk pick up

2012-01-22T18:08:00.000-08:00

my father and two sister-in-laws live in the campo. basically, they don't live in the city. i mean, it's more complicated than that, but the campo is rural - which, for me, is anything not in a big, dominican city.

my sister-in-law has a butcher shop in her house. and a colmado, a kind of everything you need corner-store, where the neighbors hang out and dance merengue.

it's a nice place to visit, but i wouldn't want to live there. i mean, there's running water and electricity (i know, tecnologia que se entro, mariposa! wao!) but it's cold-as-ice water straight from the river except at 3pm when it's kind of bearable. and well, the cooking on a fire thing scares me (because there is a gas-stove, but fire-food is so much better.)

my father-in-law works a lot. life in the campo is tougher, and agriculture is just plain not easy. there are a number of cows in the family and my father-in-law is their keeper. every morning he wakes up, gets them from their pasture, brings them to a little shed, milks them and then spends the day caring for them. he's got a little conuco, a garden of sorts for root vegetables like yuca and potatoes and there are chickens running around like they own the place (they kind of do).

i worry about how much work he does - and that he hesitates to share his responsibilities with others. and i get pissed off about it often (he's been to visit us in the city four times in my seven years in the country), and he knows that. so, i asked him about the milk he's been selling - you know, the basics, how many calves are there, how many bulls, how many bottles of milk is he getting a day and, being nosy, who's been picking it up since the old pick-up-guy moved to the capital.

he tells me, oh, don't worry - the new guy is great, he brings a jeepeta, around every morning (referring to an SUV or pickup truck). i was excited. it would make life easier for everyone.

imagine my surprise when the milk is measured out and a donkey comes strolling up the path, laden with two huge milk containers. i call my FIL, "ey, papi! i thought you said a jeepeta was coming?"

he looks at me, then looks at the burro and tells me, oh! his name is jeepeta!

there's a what in that bag?

2012-01-21T05:47:00.000-08:00

i'm sitting here, trying to catch up on this blog - and the internet is being ridiculous. fun.

i've been taking pictures like crazy. i'm sure people on public transit think i'm a nut case with my phone out, snapping pictures away of things that, for us, are normal. they're all saved in my phone, and because it's such a pain to take my phone apart to get to the memory chip, they've been sitting there for awhile.

i laughed when i pulled these pictures up, and it took me a minute to realize what it was. a little blurry, and completely unrecognizable to anyone who wasn't there. in a car. smashed in the backseat with three others. this guy gets in, carrying a bunch of sacks. 4 fabric sacks and one rice sack make from plastic. and they're moving. it's not the first time i've encountered this - mostly though, it's on a bus and not in the back of a toyota corolla.

they're cocks in those bags, and the guy was headed to the gallera to, i assume, fight them. the plastic sack had two (if my memory serves) hens in it.

luckily, we weren't in the car for two long with the birds. we got out about a block after they got in - they were well behaved and had it not been for the wiggling, or the hilarious conversation with the driver, i might not have even noticed.

traffic-jam-up.

2012-01-19T17:37:00.000-08:00

there is all kinds of construction going on in santiago - there are roads torn up everywhere, buildings going up, drainage pipes lining avenues - it's a little overkill.

it usually takes 25 minutes to and from work, except during rush hour. today, i sat in a car for an hour. and the driver took tons of detours to avoid the insane traffic. i can't even imagine the route without traffic-avoiding short cuts without smoke coming out of my ears.

santiago needs this construction. the roads have been a mess and forget about getting anywhere when it rains. main thoroughfares turn into rivers - probably rivers deeper and longer than the real river Yaque that runs in the city.

but this construction can not be more poorly planned than it has been. the workers start at morning rush hour, take breaks and continue at the mid-day rush and then again in the evening. and i don't even want to get started on the ridiculous "engineer-worker" ratio. it seems there are always too many chefs in the kitchen when it comes to road construction here.

in november, they re-asphalted a pretty important stretch of road, under the "underpass" and in front of some big businesses. it took days of horrid tapones, traffic-jams that backed up traffic for way more time than necessary. same problems - work at the horas picas when everyone is in transit and either not enough workers, or too many engineers.

notice how they're all just standing on the corner. one guy has a shovel.
please don't misread this - i know that this is construction everywhere. but it's frustrating nonetheless.

sometimes people think that we don't have heavy equipment for construction. it exists. really.

look how close that car is to the roller. they almost crashed - mostly it was the car's fault for being too far into the construction lane.

these guys stood on the corner for a good 25 minutes. seriously. like there wasn't any work to be done, or traffic tied up for DAYS.

on why we don´t have internet.

2012-01-17T17:24:00.000-08:00

we moved about two years ago. from a nice apartment in a cute complex, with absolutely horrible problem · we almost never had running water. when we made lists of the pros and cons, the list for the pros was incredibly long · good neighbors, safe place, solid construction, convenient location. but that one con (there were others, but they´re trivial) was so big that we needed to get out.

one of the things that went with the apartment was a constant, lovely internet connection.
our neighbors had opened their connection to us, and we had a nice setup going on.
but, i spent a lot of time on the internet. time that could be better spent doing things like spending time with my family, planning classes, going places, forming real relationships. amalio also really liked the internet. and sometimes we fought over the laptop.

that was not cool.

so, when we moved, we discussed what to do. we decided not to get an internet connection in the house for awhile. we didn´t really rule it out forever, but we weren´t making any commitments yet. in the fall, we revisited the internet idea. we need to change our cable company (they´ve gotten rid of all of the channels we originally signed on for · and i know that sounds ridiculous, but i need to find english for my kids where i can get it) and we looked into bundle packages.

but, we sat down and talked about it and for so many reasons we´ve decided not to do it. not yet. because i have internet at work (usually it´s constant, but recently there have been some problems, hence my absence on this blog!) and amalio does as well. we have a set up to get internet in the house when we need it. (3G connections are sublime)

we´ve decided that this year we´re going to be more intentional about the time we spend together · we´re both working a lot and so the time we have with the kids needs to be quality. it needs to be not consumed by surfing the internet and playing on facebook. because, if we actually used the internet for something useful, we´d have internet already.

it´s hard. there are so many times that i want to sit down at the computer and plan my classes, download stuff for the kids, find activities, read gossip, catch up with friends. but in the end, this is about living life today and not wasting time with things suck so much time away from me.

i´ll be back on here more regularly as soon as they fix the problem on the work computers, with pictures and anecdotes and tons of fun. miss you.

on a side note, i´m looking for people to skype with my students · we´d send you a list of questions beforehand, and just open up the conversation about living where you live, lifestyle and employment stuff. let me know if that´s something that´s interesting and we´ll see if we can work it out!

hold your horses, gregory!

2012-01-13T12:33:00.000-08:00

i'm still in internet limbo, friends.

i'll be up and running (hopefully) next week!

drive time.

2012-01-03T16:29:00.000-08:00

i was coasting along in the mini-van today, kids all snuggled safely in their carseats, rocking out to something on the radio. then, i realized i was like falling asleep. not dangerous falling asleep, don't get me wrong. but, it was like i didn't even need to pay attention to what was going on. what?

when we first got to the states three weeks ago, i stopped at every single stop sign and waited. to make sure that nobody was going to blow their stop sign and hit me. and i hesitated at every new green light, just in case someone didn't accelerate to beat the yellow. i was aggressive and defensive.

but, in philadelphia so many people follow the rules. almost all of them. if there's a stop sign, they stop. a yellow light? slow down. and i think this is why americans have such a hard time adapting to driving in developing countries.

it's not that there aren't any rules, it's just that there are so many rule-breakers. so, yes, in santiago, we have stop signs but sometimes they seem almost optional. and there are certain traffic lights that are more like a precautionary warning.

once i got used to it, i felt safer driving than i do in philly. why? because i'm alert and on the ball. all.of.the.time. i can't be day dreaming at the wheel because who knows what that guy next to me is going to try to do next. i don't talk on the phone or rock out to my music. (besides, it's way easier to rock out to hip hop or rock than it is to rock out to merengue... that's more like hip wigglin' music).

so, on my way to the store to pick up a cheapy backpack for our travels (we're headed home tomorrow), i felt like a passive driver. and ironically i didn't feel safer driving with all of the rules and regulations of the road.

i think it's a sign that i'm ready to head back to the sun and warmth. and sometimes chaos.

we leave philly at noon and arrive in santiago around 830 tomorrow night. luckily i'm not hitting the ground running (i originally thought we were leaving thursday) and work doesn't start until friday morning (classes on monday). i'll probably be a.w.o.l. from the blog for a week or so, miss me!

new year @ home

2012-01-02T07:52:00.000-08:00

i was determined to be asleep early on new years eve. we got early dinner (and by early i mean, like senior citizen early). and i was going to put on a movie for the kids.

but my dear friend jaime called and she was around with her kids. so we went and played for awhile. then, i went home and was going to bed.

me and jaime grew up together - from like the day i was born. her grandparents lived across the street from us, and her and her sister were there a lot. and chuck and judy were just like my grandparents, too. back in the good old days when people actually knew their neighbors and everyone looked out for everyone else's kids.

we walked the wall next door, played tag and wall ball and got in trouble.

so at 11, jaime came over and we rang in the new year, old school style. her kids came out with pots and pans and ran up and down the street like crazies. then we sat around making fun of the drunkies walking up the street barefoot (because we live on a hill and stupid people decide to go partying at the bottom wearing stilettos... it's amazing that there aren't more broken necks on party days).

so, bed at 4am when i had planned an early escape!

here we are standing in the middle of the street under the street light trying to get a picture. i've got a blanket wrapped around me because it wasn't really cold enough for a coat. but i'm too carribean now to brave it out.

we've got just a two days left in philly and then we're headed home. i'm doing magic tricks to get all of this stuff packed into suitcases and ready to go. (cross your fingers that i can figure it out)

resolved.

2011-12-31T10:40:00.000-08:00

in 2011 i wanted to accomplish many things. goals, not "resolutions". and most of them i accomplished.

it's the first year that i really made goals that were important to me and not cliche, like "lose weight" or "watch less tv." it was more of "find something fulfilling and run with it." "live and love."

and for 2012, i've got so many things swimming through my head, so many things that have been set in front of me to choose from, so my hope is to choose wisely, to appreciate each and every opportunity to grow and learn and, most of all to live.

to experience life. the good and the bad.

happy and safe new years, friends. see you next year.

photo shoot.

2011-12-30T12:51:00.000-08:00

i had a student last semester who dabbles in photography. he's really passionate about it, and wanted some kid pictures... and well, i have two kids. perfect, right? so we headed out to a park one lovely saturday morning and he buttered the kids up and got some amazing shots. i was waiting to put the pictures on here until i got his web links to link it up (in case you're in the DR - cibao/north coast area (he travels)) but i always forgot to get it from him. so here are four of my favorite pictures from the shoot.

samil is forever moving around. he would not stop running all morning. in fact, he didn't want his picture taken unless he was running or eating.

amely is playful. there weren't any jungle gyms at the park, so she made her own.

there's a moon rock in the middle of this park (if you're in santiago, it's the "parque de los arabes" in la trinitaria, behind the ayuntamiento - the park with the big pyramid with the globe hanging down from it) and samil found a hole to slide rocks through. fun!

supermarket-selection overload.

2011-12-28T14:04:00.000-08:00

have you been in the supermarket lately? have you seen the rows and rows and rows of the same thing for sale?

seriously, who needs that big of a selection of milk or juice? or salt. or drinking water. really?
the supermarket isn't hard for me. after all, there are very nice, big, modern supermercados in the dominican republic. really nice ones. with a lot of selection. i mean, there are aisles of wine which is impressive in itself since most of the country just drinks brugal.

there are some things, though, that just boggle my mind and sometimes throw me into sensory overload.

i don't think our food is any more natural than north american food - but it looks a little, well, different. my brother bought an onion the other day. a big white ball of onion-y goodness (i l.o.v.e. onions). it was huge and perfect. like, unnaturally perfect. (i would have taken a picture, but remember how i didn't bring my tools for the cell phone camera?) it looked like a giant softball. pure and white and not a dimple on its skin.
i, admittedly, borrowed these pictures from the internet. however, they make my point. do you see the oranges over there? perfect and round and orange? i haven't seen an orange orange in the dominican republic, ever. i don't know why, i don't know how these things work - but when you're accustomed to this kind of "home-garden-y" type of fruits and vegetables, it is a little disturbing to see such aesthetic perfection.

on every visit to the states, the first trip to the grocery store is weird. this trip, though, i got thrown by the drug store. my mom sent me to get some cold medicine. luckily, she was kind of specific - she wanted mucinex. did you know how many different selections of mucinex there are? i stood, perplexed, for a few minutes looking for the one. they were all the same thing as far as i could tell. there were different milligrams, different types of pills, a syrup. had i been alone in the store i might have hyperventilated. good thing i had someone with me just as clueless to the medicine chest as i am (the joys of being 14 and having mom take care of that stuff!)

i picked the box of meds that matched the price my mom told me - a syrup that was not on sale - and headed to the register. we walked past the aisles of everything in the world - 17 different kinds of cotton balls, 12 different brands of cotton swabs, perfume, makeup, 16 varieties of nail clippers.

i paid quickly and got out. i haven't been back in the drugstore since, but i'm going to need to venture out before we head back to santiago - after all, there are some things i need to get.

best christmas present. ever.

2011-12-26T17:18:00.000-08:00

i mean, who else gets elfish slippers from kazakhstan for christmas?

walkin' in the winter...warmth?

2011-12-25T17:13:00.000-08:00

look at her hands. this kid is not used to mittens.

i love fairmount park. there's a creek that runs through this beautiful park with hiking trails and a bridal path. it's such a nice place to walk and there are ducks to feed. and since it's been so warm so far this vacation, we packed up and went back "the crick" on christmas eve for a little walking, a few bags of popcorn for the quack-quacks and visiting with aunt lily.

samil was so concerned that the geese would not share their popcorn with each other. and when he tried to throw the popcorn to the birds in the water, it just flew away to the "not-sharing" ones on the land.

after we feed the animals, we took a walk down the bridal path looking for... well, i don't know. i told the kids we were looking for horses, but i don't suppose one goes looking for horses. luckily we did spot one, but when it got close enough for the kids to admire, it spooked and took off.

we ventured off the path and hiked up a little path next to a small stream. samil wanted to carry all of the sticks that he found on the way and so, of course,did amely.

no snow, but at least we can get out and about this year and see some things. on the list for this week? the zoo, the science museum and the indoor playground (we went last week and the kids loved that, too).

dreaming of a white christmas.

2011-12-23T16:23:00.000-08:00

i come to philadelphia every christmas. it was nice when i was self-employed because i could just pick up and go, but now with a real job it's a little more difficult. so, we arrived last thursday and have been livin' it up since.

we've been to all of my favorite stores, to a flea market, more stores...

we have done more than just shop. really. the kids went on a carrousel the other day. and we went to the playground last weekend. we have tickets to the zoo and the children's museum and a ton of other stuff.

but one thing is wrong. it's warm! like, wear just a sweatshirt and be comfortable warm.
i'm sitting here just dreaming of a white christmas.

christmas in the barrio.

2011-12-22T10:00:00.000-08:00

we used to live across the city in an apartment complex really close to a pretty upper-class neighborhood. it was one of those places where people didn't talk to each other and although we knew the people in our building, i only knew two or three people who lived in the others.

so, when we moved i was excited to live in a place where people actually know each other and talk to each other. my kids have been invited to tons of birthday parties of kids we only see in passing because that's the kind of place it is - invite the neighborhood over for cake.

when christmas rolled around last year, i was surprised that, when walking in from work, there was a group of kids building something in the street. they wanted a donation. i kept walking. i had no idea what they were doing. day after day, this thing started to take shape. it was a christmas tree. a recycled-repurposed tree in the middle of the road. i mentioned it to amalio and he says, "well yeah that's how they do. get some donations and every day add a little til they've got a tree. there's tons all over the city."

oh.

since then i've seen tons of trees. amazing things made from old plastic cups, plates, 20 oz soda bottles, plastic bags, anything and everything. it wasn't until this year, though, that i saw some of the prize winners. because, wait for it, there's a competition! neighborhoods can compete with their christmas scenes to win money for their communities. amazing.

a christmas tradition in the country is to roast a pig on christmas eve, la noche buena, to share with friends and families. i think the roasting of the pig is more than half of the fun, as it's often done over night and someone has to make sure it doesn't burn. gather up some friends and spend the night with the pig? who doesn't love an all-night that doesn't include studying?

this scene won first place this year and it's representative of the lechon or roast pig shared on christmas.

the beginning of the barrio
christmas tree

this one is my favorite just because the trees are recycled plastic plates painted and lighted from inside. there are a ton of re-purposed things in this scene. i love that these arbolitos are so pretty, and so cheap.

made from small plastic bags, wire and
"twinkle lights."

our neighborhood doesn't compete, so our trees are humble and small - but most nights during the season there are groups of people out helping to put them up, and taking donations for ginger tea to share with everyone who stops by.

a new hope.

2011-12-20T04:24:00.000-08:00

one of my new goals with the "re-living" of this blog is to connect people to organizations that are doing amazing things in this country. i wrote about my visit to cabral and baez hospital with midwives for the dominican republic (a visit that has convicted me in ways i never imagined - more on that in future posts). and i've got a ton more people doing good in this country.

a few years ago, i was tutoring out of my house. i'd get calls from people all of the time - i was full, blessed by enough work to pay the bills and some extra. i had tutored a few ex-pat kids and some dominicans. i was used to the work and i liked it. i never imagined changing jobs - it was so easy, work from home, be with my kids and make decent money.

but, one day i got a call from a woman looking for a more permanent tutoring situation. i was interested - the ideas they had caught my attention. and i went through a process with a group of women, talking about education and what it means. in the end the job didn't pan out, but i learned so much about myself and about what my beliefs are through the process that i was just grateful to have been involved.

one of the women was joy. a missionary living with her family, and working in a school for impoverished children in la vega. she wanted more, though, and i could see it in her. she was convicted to serve the girls in her community - the ones who are battered, abused and left behind. to be honest, though, i didn't see it happening. too complicated, too much crazy.

see, there's a problem here. girls are a commodity to be bought and sold to the highest bidder. and it doesn't just happen in the most impoverished of neighborhoods. parents looking for a better life encourage their daughters to "marry" foreigners, to only be with the man with a good job or who has money. it doesn't matter about love or even like.

we have a student/friend who's girlfriend wasn't allowed to see him anymore because "he doesn't have enough money" (the kid was 16 for crying out loud!) and the parents needed her to find someone more stable. it's sad, really. but the worst are when the girls do "marry" (marriage in the dominican republic is a funny thing, and the word spouse is thrown around freely - usually two children are considered "married" if they've have intimate relations), she is considered spoiled goods. they "marry" and when it doesn't work out (because what 13 year old girl can really be a wife?) the family doesn't want her back. so she has nowhere to go.

a coworker of mine, the woman who cleans our building, was "married" at 12 and had three children by 15. He "husband" left her when she was pregnant with the third claiming that she wasn't young enough anymore. she had to make it on her own - three kids and a 5th grade education. now, she's older and her 16 year old daughter has a baby. it's a vicious cycle.

so back to joy. she recently started a school for girls. and god has been moving in that school and my original skepticism is gone. when i read their facebook page and their updates on their blog, i'm amazed at the power of prayer and the sacrifices people are making to support this organization. new hope is taking in these girls and giving them an education, food, hope. showing them god's love, and preparing them for the future.

so, what's prompted this post of mine?

i'm a big supporter of helping people up instead of giving out. empowering people with education, job opportunities and giving the opportunity for personal responsibility is so much better than handing people things. that forced dependence that so often happens just forces the cycle to continue, while creating independence helps to break it.

i checked out their blog the other day and saw their new project. empowering women by helping them learn a craft to sell in fair trade markets, locally and internationally. Their first project was to make sandals. "Each sandal is hand woven and sewn and takes about three hours to create. Women are able to earn more than double the average wage in our barrio with all the proceeds supporting the work of New Hope Girls Inc. We had our first public sale locally Saturday where we sold 25 pairs of sandals! The women were so excited and encouraged." (new hope girls blog). (you can buy them, i think for $25 off the blog or facebook)

i sincerely ask you to check New Hope Girls out, because they're doing amazing things. educating and training and preparing. helping girls learn their real value, not just as a piece of meat with a price-tag. giving women self-confidence and skills that will help them support their families. and doing it with a heart full of love and compassion.

good things are happening in this country. check them out.

an open letter to american airlines.

2011-12-19T04:13:00.000-08:00

to whom it may concern:

let me start this letter by saying that i understand that your company is claiming bankruptcy, that the nasty economy finally caught up to you and you're in a sticky situation. how can you keep up the service and quality that your repeat customers are accustomed to and still make enough money to stay afloat? however, i don't think you are all that concerned with your customers. making enough money? enough, i'm sure, considering your prices and all of your hidden charges. taking care of passengers? not so much. let me tell you why i think that.

you see, a few days i boarded a plane with my two small children and my father. a tricky situation to begin with - a game of who sits where and with whom? who walks and who gets the stroller? and what in the world do i do with these kids on a two hour flight? i planned out naptimes, snacks and activities for two hours on a plane. then, different activities for the insane layover and more activities for the second 2 hour flight.

everything was planned. and, of course, i know that not everything goes as plans. but explain to me why i sat on your airplane for two hours because of some paperwork problem? two hours on a fairly full plane, sitting at a gate with two small children, because your mechanics made a simple and supposedly easy repair and then, presumably, filled out two hours of paperwork. regardless, two hours sitting on a plane? and what do you do to help this problem? a glass of water and free headphones for a tv program that went twenty minutes without sound. seriously,

the flight was uneventful, but upon arrival in miami, we practically ran through the airport - the seventy two miles from your plane to customs - so as not to miss our connecting flight. two small children, remember? collect our bags, leave the airport and go back through security. i get it. i do, really. people died because some crazies got on a plane and now we have to take our shoes off and get body scans. but didn't we go through security for the first flight?

with just a few minutes to feed my children, we found our gate and then found something to eat. quick. because our plane was going to board. except it wasn't. because again, dear american airlines friends, your flight was delayed. not by much, but enough to make our race through the airport completely unnecessary. we board. and then sit. again. this time because the airport took the ground crew away from my flight to service another.

delay upon delay.

again. uneventful flight. luckily my kids slept most of the flight. they would have slept peacefully for the full flight except that not only had the flight been delayed in the beginning, it circled the philadelphia airport for at least 25 minutes in the air before landing. thank you, american airlines. that's what i needed to end my day. 25 minutes of kids asking why the plane wasn't "going down" and were we "stuck" in the air.

i sincerely hope that you figure out the mess you're in because it is no longer pleasant to travel with your airline. and, like you say on all of your flights, we customers do have a choice. you are not the only option out there.

sincerely,
girlinthedr.

on why there are no pictures for the next two weeks.

2011-12-17T13:35:00.000-08:00

so, i had decided to revamp and revive my blog a few weeks ago. "life in the dominican republic", yes?

armed with my blackberry phone (complete with flash camera) i wandered the city. wait. no. i basically just went about life and took pictures of things that i see. some hilarious. some tragic. some mundane.

all with the intention of knocking down some blog posts while i was here in philadelphia. except. well, i left my memory chip thingy at home and now i can't get those pictures onto the computer. and therefore, my fervent blogging might come to a rest for this break.

or i might get enough stuff to write about from philly. who knows.
but for now, no pictures of the DR unless i get an adaptar memory stick. sorry, people,.

navidad is here!

2011-12-16T07:36:00.000-08:00

christmas tree at my bank.

christmas in the caribbean perplexes me. the decorations in the streets and in a lot of houses are mostly what I associate with upper-class new england décor; santa clause is a hispanic man painted white (yes, white. not cream, not peach. white). the stores pipe in the hallelujah chorus and it’s just weird to me. strange.

these go in your yard, apparently. i've yet to see one
that actually looks nice.

i associate that Christmas with cold, snow, drinking hot chocolate and watching national lampoons christmas vacation on tv. so, when i went with friends to the beach last weekend... well, i wasn't feeling christmas so much.

there are some things that scream caribbean christmas to me and i l.o.v.e. them. the homemade and recycled displays in the communities (another post just about that). the christmas donkey song: el burrito sabanero and the arandelas de mi corazon.so christmas exists here, of course. but it's different. and it takes some getting used to.

the other night we took the kids to the mall for pizza and ice cream (compensation for a rainy day promise to visit the park). on our way home, some neighbors were building a fire in the street to make ginger tea for the neighborhood. everyone chips in money to buy the roots, sugar and crackers and then share together before bed. we’re usually in the house by the time fun things like this happen, but man, it’s so nice when it happens.

evergreens grow here, but most people use artificial trees for their arbolito.

i wanted a tree for a long time, but… well, I don’t like artificial trees. so we’ve never had one. besides, they fall into that weird category for me. when we moved to our new place two years ago I had only heard tell of “street trees” – the barrio christmas trees. then, we had one close to us. it was pretty crappy, so I wasn’t impressed. but we went on a tour looking for trees (it’s like looking at the lights on a cold night!) trees made from recycled soda bottles, from plastic bags, from 5 gallon water jugs. amazing.

my all time favorite tradition though are seasonal fruit and treat shacks. they set up mid-november, and man, are these places great? apples, grapes, raisins, mandarins oranges, orange slices. when I first moved here apples and grapes were scarce and super expensive. now, in the city at least, they’re fairly common place and only somewhat costly. at christmas time, though, you can stop by one of these stands and get it all. their lights are on all night and you can find one on almost any major intersection in Santiago.

we’re in philly now – visiting family and friends – so we’ll be doing all of the philly favorites (light show at the old wanamaker building and that new one; the zoo, reading terminal, visiting santa!) and we don’t get back until three kings day to the dr, but we’ll weave in some new traditions – blending cultures and enjoying the best of both worlds!

a good old fashioned presidente party

2011-12-12T07:43:00.000-08:00

i'm not a big drinker - quiza a glass of wine now and then, or a frias shared with friends and i'm my grandmothers' offspring, because i like hi-balls - but drinking was so college and i think i'm a little too old for so much of that anymore.

however, (and i swear this is the last post about my mountain hike!) after that long walk up the mountain and long walk back down, the "kids" decided it was time for a presidente party. where thy got the energy from, i've got no idea - but they turned on the radio and danced the bus-ride away: bachata, merengue and reggaeton. throw in a few jumbos of presidente beer and it was poppin'.

i love that every thing can be turned into a celebration. and alcohol is not necessary for fun in these parts - just a radio with loud music for dancing and, usually, food to go along with it. even funerals can get a little spicy once the music starts pumping.

campfire food.

2011-12-10T11:10:00.000-08:00

let me tell you, 8 faithful readers, how much i l.o.v.e. food cooked on a fire.

when we go to the river, we take a huge pot and cook rice on the river bed. sometimes even at the beach. and every once and awhile, when my father-in-law was still married, i'd beg a fire-cooked meal when we visited.

it's rustic, for sure. it's a lot of work. especially during the rainy seasons, finding dry wood for the kindling is next to impossible. but it is so worth it.

before we climbed to the top of pico quita espuela, we stopped at the restaurant where we would eat after the climb. the ladies were in the back, in a ranchito, cooking. on. an. open. fire. i considered staying there just to smell the deliciousness.

when things got slippery and sticky on the way down the mountain (my pants were proof of how many times i fell!) i just imagined the smoky, rich flavor of that moro de habichuela negra waiting for me at the bottom. and i don't even usually like black beans and rice!

you've never had delicious until you've eaten like this!

3-2-1 almost time!

2011-12-08T12:02:00.001-08:00

we’ve gottwo pretty big countdowns going on here. grandpop is coming to visit on mondaynight, and then on thursday we’re going to get on the plane with him! the kidsare thrilled because mostly people leave here when they’re sleeping, and thistime they get to leave, too.

of course,we’re sad because we still haven’t gotten amalio a visa to visit the states, sohe’ll be staying behind – yet again – but we hope that this summer he’llfinally make it north, and not just to the beach an hour away. (in fact, Ithink I’ll make a countdown for the kids to count the days until they see theirpapi while we’re away!)

I’ve seenthese countdown chains all over the internet, and at first (I’ll admit it) Ithought it was kind of dumb. and then samil starting going to sleep every nighttalking about how manana he’s going to grandpop’s house. and then he’d wake upin the morning and look for his suitcase. the chain has been helpful because hecount it down together and then he or amely cuts the last link off (or number).the countdown to our trip has numbers on it for him and the countdown forgrandpop is plain, so that’s what amely cuts (and… amely sucks with scissors,so ripping construction paper links is easier on us all).

decidida.

2011-12-07T13:13:00.000-08:00

The view from the top of Pico Quita Espuela, Dominican Republicif you read the blog (amazing! considering how infrequently i've posted this year), you'll know that i've been trying to change my eating and exercise habits.

i've waxed and waned this year - i lost 30 pounds before may, and have more or less just maintained that since i started my new job. we, as a family, have been making more healthy food choices and we recently made a deal to incorporate more active activities into our family-time.

it's not always easy to be active in the ways that i know how to be active with two kids. the hiking trails are hard here, and there are few parks to play in. but we try. playgrounds, riding bikes outside, taking walks.

the last weekend in november we were invited on a field trip with a class of enivronmental science students. we wouldn't be able to take the kids, but since we rarely ever have the chance to take part in things like this, and i didn't need the babysitter that saturday, we signed up for the hike to the top of pico quita espuela.

i'm super out of shape. and not at-all-skinny. i made a goal. i would make it to the half-way house and wait it out. i was sure i would probably be dead before i got there, but i would at least make it there.

i watch biggest loser. a lot. religiously, even. partly because it motivates me, partly because i don't believe that they can actually get those people to do the things they do. i remember watching oprah and maury povich when i was younger and they would have fat people clap their hands and wiggle their hips for 30 minutes a day so they could burn calories. and now? biggest loser has 500 pound men going miles in the first weeks at the ranch.

it was unbelievable to me because i didn't think i had it in me. and if i don't, why should they?

so, i make these half-goals because i don't believe that i can really do the whole-goal.
we got to the midway point. my thighs were burning, i was thirsty and tired. we sat down and... when everyone started getting up to go (and by everyone, i mean everyone except the girls who brought their purses and designer boots along for the hike and a few gentlemen companions) i decided that i needed to do it. i was going to make it to the top.
amalio and i at the caseta de descanso - or midway point
i was fine until we decided to go down the slippery slope to the river-spring to drink. the trees were covered in spines and i slid on my butt most of the way. luckily, there was a lovely young man who helped a few of us girls by digging holes in the mud.

i made it back up and decided, again, to keep going. it hurt. it burned. i felt like i would die. but. three hours later, we made it to the top - and i wasn't even the last one there.
this one kid who helped me down the mountain told me that he admired me because most of the skinny girls stayed back at the rest-stop, and here i was determined to get to the top. (if it wasn't for him, i'd probably still be at the top) gregory, my helper, was as determined as i was to get ME to the top! he kept saying he wouldn't leave anyone behind!

when you've got it inside, you have to pull it out. sometimes we get people who can help motivate us, but in the end it comes down to making a decision and getting on with it. it's not always about losing weight or getting in shape - it's about everything we think we can't do. we can.

just put your mind to, make a decision and go.

amalio and i at the top - a horrible quality photo, but WE MADE IT!

me at the bottom, waiting for the bus. so tired!

my husband, the monkey.

2011-12-05T12:42:00.000-08:00

i met amalio in the city.

he took a bus and wore a tie to work. his shoes were shiny and he lived in a big house in the hills.

after a few short months of knowing each other, he invited me to the campo.

a beautiful village near the ocean, lush with vegetation of all kinds. his father's house was home (at that time) to an amazing mango tree. see, not all mango trees produce good mangos - sometimes they're too stringy, or too watery. this one was just right. (it no longer produces any fruit, bad or otherwise). there's also grapefruit trees, avocado trees and a lone caimito. there are oranges of all varieties (bitter, for cooking; sweet for eating; and juice oranges) and even a mandarina or italian orange tree in the field.
these fruits come in and out of season, and whenever we visit we try to stuff our bags with as much fresh (and free) fruit we can get. when we had the car, it was insane. and last year, we received about 100 pounds of avocadoes in the mail.
my first trip to this paraiso was eye-opening. not only did amalio not grow up wearing a shirt and tie, he didn't even wear shiny shoes!
and, apparently, spent most of his time playing with machetes and milking cows. when i was pregnant with samil, at least six women told me it would be okay if i ended up having the baby at home (by accident of course) because amalio was famous for helping animals through the birthing process.
lovely.
i took my brother to visit this wonderland on his first vacation to the island... and he'll even tell you about how amalio's tiny little sister climbed up the trees to throw down the fruit. and others will recount how my brother in law would shimmy his way up coconut trees (at times that would break gym-class rope climbing records all over the united states). and while amalio loves all things campo, taking care of cows and pigs and digging for root vegetable, we rarely get to see him in the trees.

we trekked to a mountain one sunday with a group of students from the UAPA university (post forthcoming, i promise, with lots of pictures). we stopped for a break and amalio, who had been lusting over some oranges since the bottom of the hill, took advantage of the break... climbed a tree and stole some oranges.
not bad for a "not so campesino" man!

psychology?

2011-12-03T05:13:00.000-08:00

before i got my current job, i did private tutoring. by some weird twist of nature, i ended up being the gringa in the dominican republic tutoring koreans.

there´s actually a fairly large community of koreans living here for all kinds of reasons - missionaries, factory managers, independent business owners. there´s not nearly as many koreans as chinese, but still. it´s a lot.

somehow, i got hooked into the community when i started working independently and they´ve taken care of me and mine ever since. so, when i started at the university, there were certain families, and certain classes i wasn´t ready to give up.

i´ve been working with two lovely characters for a few months now on my breaks at school.

another lovely, fresh from korea, joined our ¨class¨the other day. like many koreans, she has exquisite reading and writing skills but when it comes to expressing ideas orally, she struggles. that´s normal. she´s learning.

so, on our second day of class, i asked her about her family. with a little bit of help from her classmate, she tells me she has an older brother who studies at the university. excellent.

what does he study?

they look at each other. converse some. look in a dictionary. and then.

Kim Yu K looks at me. Dead serious.

¨Mind control.¨

sure don´t wanna meet that brother!

plagiarism.

2011-12-02T08:45:00.000-08:00

we've got a friend living in kazahkstan right now. apparently, hilarious things happen to him on an everyday basis. funny students. ridiculous policies. bitter cold. and students copying their homework off the internet.

see. this happens here fairly frequently. i'll assign a writing assignment about, say, the sun, and i'll get, in return, 20 papers all copied and pasted from the same wikipedia site. once, a girl gave a presentation on all of the "houses of ill repute" in auckland, new zealand, speaking about the "ladies of the night" and "illicit activities." when asked what that meant, she thought it was a club district. not a red light one. because not only do the students copy, they don't even bother to look at what they've handed in.

i'm sure students in the USA cheat and copy and steal... but at least there is some creativity in hiding the cheating. because in these other parts it's blatant. and hilarious.

larry's facebook status the other day: "One of my students just sent me an assignment via email. The subject line was "Review which was copied from internet." It was a film review by Roger Ebert. my sides are busting.

and just a few days later: "The same student who sent me the "review copyed from internet" just sent me "review which I try to write myself." It's one of the most blatant Google translate jobs I've seen." more than a chuckle.

i guess students everywhere are the same. looking for the easy way out of a hard assignment. i say, keep it up students, every now and then i need a good laugh

giving thanks. a journey in photos.

2011-12-02T06:49:00.001-08:00

really, it's just a link to pictures from our dominican/american/haitian/venezuelan/iranian/peruvian thanksgiving extravaganza.

re: the maternity ward.

2011-11-29T11:04:00.000-08:00

i've been to the public hospital tons of times. visiting friends or dropping things off, i even run through the front door and out the back when i'm too lazy to walk around the block. i've been to a meeting or two and use the pharmacy because it's much cheaper than privately owned drugstores.

i don't visit people in the hospital. i feel like if you are sick, you need to rest, not entertain. and i'm not even big on visiting people after they give birth - unless they ask, or need help with lactation stuff. i like to wait until they're at home, comfortable and... more properly cleaned and presentable for visitors.

public health care here is kind of a joke. like many other public services, there are not enough funds, a little to no accountability to the people who manage what there is. doctors show up late, or not at all, spend little time with each patient and run on to their better paying job. nurses are paid minimum wage, and are not given the tools they need to perform their jobs.

even knowing all of this, even having experienced the public hospital, i was not prepared for the maternity ward. and on one hand i wish i had taken photos, and on the other i'm glad i didn't.

a friend of mine is a midwife working with midwives for the dominican republic and she brought onesies and sanitary pads for the new mamas in the hospital, so we headed over and talked our way in. normally, no one is allowed to accompany the women into the labor room, so it was a privilege to get in and see how it works.

picture taken from midwives for the dominican republic

we were thrown some disposable gowns and told we could walk around and talk to the women. good thing, because no one else seemed to be talking to them. the room was large, about 15 beds filled it up, each with a woman in some stage of labor - two beds were occupied by two women, since there was no space for them anywhere else. some of the beds had sheets, if the women brought them from home, most did not. a few of the women were naked from the waste down, with just a rolled up towel to give them privacy. there are no curtains to separate the beds. a doctor and his residents walked around, checking each woman. mostly, they didn't converse with the patient, and in one case the doctor did a tactile without even saying hello the mama-to-be.

one young girl cried and her belly contracted, with no one to hold her hand or give her words of encouragement. she had been admitted eventhough she was not really ready to be in the hospital. she might have lasted a day or two more without giving birth.

alone. in a hospital.

the babies are taken away after delivery and the women are shuttled to post-partum where they wait for... whatever one waits for in the post-partum room. again, these women are alone - not even with their babies for company.

no sheets, no hospital gown. no husband or mom to hold a hand.

the regular rooms were not much better, but here, company is allowed. four beds and a private bath in each room. babies and moms are reunited, but there are no cribs or incubator boxes for the newborns. they share the twin bed with mom and whoever else is with them - there are only seats if you bring them with you.

there are no free diapers, no blanket to wrap the baby in. no sheets on mama's bed or a pillow to use. no chairs for visitors. no sanitary pads or protection for the bed. no pain medication. for the haitian women, there is not even a nurse or doctor who speaks their language.

i spent an hour. it felt like a lifetime. i am thankful for this experience. for the opportunity to remember that not everyone lives like me, and that most are denied what should be basic rights of human beings.

the mother maria.

2011-11-27T10:47:00.000-08:00

i've been so busy with work and work... and some projects i've been working on, that it's been hard to get out with the kids and just spend some time together. i mean, we spend time together, but at home or close to it.
and i really hate running errands with both of them. i know that sounds like bad-mommy-syndrome, but public transportation here is crazy and nothing is really family friendly.

but, i packed these beauties up last weekend and headed to run around. bank, tailors, supermarket, copy-shop. we left a bit too early and were stuck wandering the streets of santiago when we came across this jem - a park dedicated to christopher columbus, complete with iron-worked replicas of the three ships.
we bought some orange slices and an apple and ran around the park for awhile. we talked about columbus and talked to some blind people who were meeting in the park that morning. he proudly told them the names of columbus' ships - the nina, pinta and santa maria. of course they were impressed with these small children who knew the names of columbus' ships, and even more impressed by amely's sharing nature (she gave away most of her candy... mostly because she will not take no for an answer)

i was proud just because they're such good kids. and samil is sucking up information like a sponge.

in fact, just yesterday samil asked me if i remembered going to see the pipa, inta and the mother maria!

footloose.

2011-11-26T06:40:00.000-08:00

these kids are dancing maniacs.

samil's got the b-boy moves going on - he's not even scared of the ceramic floors, trying out headstands and flip moves (while i yell at him to be careful, that's amely's head!)

amely cannot hear music without wiggling her hips. if there are dancers on tv, she stops, observes and then imitates. out.of.control.

i took this video a few weeks ago, their moves have improved immensely since then, but it'll probably make you smile.

thankful.

2011-11-24T10:35:00.000-08:00

formal thanksgiving is not typically celebrated in the dominican republic. of course, there is an understanding of the holiday, and there are even people who eat turkey. but, as far as thanksgiving thanksgiving, it's not there. well, here.

for the past few years, i've organized and planned a thanksgiving turkey dinner for friends. it's always got a dominican flare, but it's something that makes me feel warm, to share this beautiful part of the american culture with my friends and family. so often i hear negative things about the northamerican lifestyle, that i want to show peopel that it's not true - we do love our families, and we do share with our grandparents and aunts and uncles. we don't just eat mcdonald's or pizza.

this year, i've got a real job and so thanksgiving on thanksgiving is difficult. so, our small american community - professors from the uni and people i've picked up on the internet - have planned our turkey celebration for saturday, complete with turkey, mashed potatoes, cranberry sauce and pumpkin pie! (i hate pumpkin pie, but... tradition is tradition!)

i'm so thankful for so many things this year, and hoping for so many more wonderful things in this year to come. blessings and peace to you all on this holiday! be safe.

living here.

2011-11-23T09:38:00.000-08:00

when people ask me what it is like to live here... it throws me off. like i've been here so long, that i've forgotten how different life is.

taking cold showers during hours-long power outages doesn't faze me. we take our propane tank to the gas station on the back of a motorcycle to fill it up when it's empty. and every morning i shove myself into a 1980 toyota corolla with 7 other public transit riders.

i forget sometimes about real cold, and wrap myself in a sweatshirt because it's only 65 degrees and a little misty. sometimes i avoid leaving the house at noon because the sun is so hot and even, i'm sorry to admit, carry an umbrella to stay cool.

my kids play baseball with the caps of 5-gallon jugs and broom handles and dance to reggaeton. they collect "tazos" from the bags of potato chips and drink coca-cola from glass bottles. when it's time to hang the clothes on the line, they're the first out the door to help, and the firsts to laugh when it starts to rain.

my husband teaches in a dilapidated old factory building, with floors caving in and the occasional ceiling fan that loses its arm. his students have never used a white board, had a computer class or watched a class movie. they do with what they have and the occasional extra - a science fair with cardboard posters and arts and crafts made from recycled boxes.

i teach in a university that has no admission standards. those who can pay, study. despite the high cost, we use chalk boards. the students commute. there are no dorms. and once i had a mom come to complain about her kid's grade and was not at all surprised by it.

so is it different, living here? sure. but it's not something to dwell on.

it's not for comparing or contrasting, for better or for worse. this is life.

coffee IV

2011-11-09T06:18:00.001-08:00

i've reached the point where i think i'm going to buy some works and hook myself up permanently to the coffee urn.

it's not that the coffee here is delicious (it is), it's that i'm so sleep deprived that some days i don't think i'll survive without passing out while crossing the street.

super busy? big plans? people to see, parties to plan?

no. no. friends.

i've got a two year old who refuses to sleep in her own bed.
or even in her own room. or a mattress on the floor.
she needs. (yes, needs) to be between mami and papi on the bed. left foot shoved under mami's belly and right foot under papi. spread eagled.

taking up the most precious bed real estate.

i'm at wits end. i don't know what to do. we've tried locking the door, carrying her back every time and even promising her things.

nothing.

the worst part is that no matter what, we're out sleep. precious, precious sleep. if i have to carry her back and forth, i lose. but if i leave her with us, i lose it.

suggestions?

what's this about lesson plans?

2011-10-05T07:00:00.000-07:00

i sat down the other day, pulled out all of my books and tried to get to work. i've got planning upon planning... and then some more planning to get done.

i'm not real good at planning.

i've been teaching long enough that if i've got the basic idea of what needs to happen, i can fly by the seat of my pants and make it work. not the best approach, i know, but it works most of the time.

but. i'm the last teacher in the world who doesn't at least want to use technology. who doesn't carry a radio or even know how to connect the projector to the computer. and forget about asking me to carry a computer to school. it's too heavy.

and now. my students demand it. we want more listening, more videos, more... of someone other than you talking to us. different accents so we can understand more people, different contexts so we can learn...

learn?

yes. so there. i need to plan. at least i need to try.
and while i'm planning for the university, i need to get on the boat and start mapping some things out for my own kids - like everything that is missing in samil's "formal" education and getting a pencil in amely's hand and out of her mouth. maybe teach her some colors other than blue and make sure samil understand that blanco and black are not the same thing.

so, i sat down and tried to plan. i had every intention in the world to get a few days banged out and written down.

but then i fell asleep.

helluva.

2011-09-19T07:28:00.000-07:00

it's been something these past two weeks.

the kids have been sick. you know, that annoying coughing and runny nose sick that kids get and dominicans refer to as gripe. i avoid the doctors at all costs, mostly because i can't handle the stupidity of it all, but when samil's fever just wouldn't go down, amalio packed him up and took him to the emergency room.

chest x-ray, blood draw and pee in a cup all to find the norm. and by norm, i mean nothing. nada. medicine on top of medicine and no school for two days.

and just after school on the first day back, poor samil busted his chin open... and three stitches and a nasty tetanus shot later, we're on the way back to normal.

sometimes this kind of week overwhelms me. puts me out, makes me crazy. la loca who yells a lot, but this week it wasn't so bad. i'm still remembering that life is good and we have been blessed. this could be la colera or dengue fever or something other nasty caribe disease.

humbled.

2011-09-12T18:18:00.000-07:00

today was a day. one of those days that starts just not right.

samil has been sick. mami, estoy malito. my belly hurt. and his fever is through the roof. amely is asleep on our, cold, hard ceramico because she got kicked out of our bed twice last night for being annoying. it can't be comfortable on that floor, though it might be better than sleeping in your brother's pee. because, yes, after two years accident free, the poor boy has peed himself three times in the past two days.

por supuesto, the only class-group i have problems with is the only class i have on mondays, and today was typical. attitude, reluctance. i could do somersaults off the balcony, land on a horse and sing opera and still get nothing from these kids.

the day only got worse i tried to make the kids doctor's appointments and figure out the insurance lio for amely's tubes. it's a huge mess.

then, i met up with some korean friends and some friends of theirs. frustration times six million, because no matter how hard i try to learn that coreano, it escapes me.

they were taking me to see their new mission center in one of the poorest neighborhoods in santiago. cienfuegos. the land of one hundred fires. nowadays, gunfire. because poverty breed violence. and there is not much more poor than cienfuegos.

i've been around. we have amigos who live there, a wonderful panaderia that sells excellent tres leche cake. not to mention the packs of students who actually walk the 45 minutes a day to attend amalio's school. but this.

this i had never experienced.
(and i wish i could show you in pictures, but even that wouldn't do it justice).

wooden skeletons, waiting. un poco de esperanza. a hope that on most days probably seems futile. board by board, building up the house. every time an extra peso comes around, another plank, another nail. another piece of hope. families living in one bedroom. one bed. no bathroom. no privacy.

further down the road, by the acueducto canal, a boy, in old underpants and rubber chancletas beat clothes against a rock; mami wringing and rinsing, taking care of the baby, naked with a bobo in her mouth.

it was hot today. hotter than normal. people sat outside, in the little shade. in front of their one bedroom shacks. some swept their small patch of land. sadness in their eyes, but each time we stopped

hope.

that esperanza because they have been remembered. we are not alone in the world.

today was not a bad day. i just needed a reminder. it's not bad. we have esperanza. for the future, hope. and the ability to share that hope. today humbled me in a way i have not been in a long time. thank you, universe.

not to live in fear.

2011-09-11T10:10:00.000-07:00

life is dangerous.

it is, you can't deny it.
tomorrow you can go outside and get hit by a truck. and die.

i don't know that september 11,2011 changed my life. sure, friends have gone to iraq. some have come home and gone back again and again. others never made it back.

air travel? just short of a full body check every.single.time i enter the u.s.a.

delinquency is rampant in santiago, lately. people are killing and not being punished and... in a amoral society, where number one rules, what happens? people are scared. it's reminiscent of september 11 and how people wouldn't leave their houses.

if i've learned anything from that tragic day it's that we never know what tomorrow holds. hold your plans for the future loosely and try to live for today. because it might be terrorists hi-jacking an airplane to kill the will of a country, or it might be a desperate kid trying to make his life just a little more comfortable - it can happen to anyone.

i'm remembering today all of those friends who never made it home. and praying for those who took lessons in fear that day.

semester two.

2011-09-11T09:46:00.000-07:00

that short, oh-so-short, summer break is over.

during it, i fought the nasty bronchitis that threatened to kill me in july plus a stomach bug that left me unable to leave the bathroom for days. add to it amely's incredible-exploding ear drums, and well...

summer vacation was no vacation.

amely is better. i am better. mostly we are healthy. and safe from hurricanes. aleluya.

my second semester at the university has begun. four groups. 20 hours a week.
plus, samil started pre-school. he loves it.

like i always i have plans to re-join the blogging world on a regular basis. let's see what i can come up with.

summer-time.

2011-07-11T07:17:00.000-07:00

i can't wait for summer vacation to start.

see. universities study year round here. it's kind of ridiculous if you ask me, but it is what it is, right? so, i get a month of vacation starting the 25th. and until then, i am craz-y busy.

we've inherited a niece, a beautiful little girl who can't read or write or even count. after two years in pre-school. and i know reading it pushing it at 6 - but really? you can't count? after TWO WHOLE YEARS in school? it's a problem.

and i've inherited my brother for the summer. he takes my tutoring students so i'm not busting at the seams with work. although, busting at the seams with work is a non-problem, right? especially with this economy. but, i prefer poverty and being with my kids than riches and never being home. so, summer with brother is a blessing.

throw in my own two beauties who are getting bigger and badder every day. samil is still in love with "doing school" and amely is learning more and more ways to get papi to do whatever she wants.

i'm looking forward to filling up our baby pool on the balcony, buying some fresh pineapple and having some time-outs from the real world come june 25th. i'm sure i'll get bored in 5 minutes, but i'm still looking forward to it.

why i suck as a blogger.

2011-06-16T09:39:00.001-07:00

see, i don't have internet in the house.

and when i get to a computer, facebook kind of absorbs me.

that, and all of my internet window shopping.

so.

i think once we get the internet back in the house (end of the month, fingers crossed) i'm going to overhaul this thing and get back on the boat.

see you then!

mother's day.

2011-05-08T05:25:00.000-07:00

today is american mother's day.

a time to celebrate those women who have raised us, formed us, cared for us, educated us, loved us, held us, disciplined us, taught us.

i am blessed to have a wonderful mom.
who has taught me how to be a good mom to my little treasures.

i love you, mom.

conserve.

2011-05-07T05:10:00.000-07:00

it is only 815 and i feel like i've already lived the whole day. have you ever had a morning like that?

last night the water pump that sends us water burned out. luckily we won't have the problems we had in our last apartment (you know, no water ever) because the owner uses the same pump. it should be fixed today, but even 18 hours without water is a nuisance.

the country has been lacking rain for the past five months. reservoirs are low, and there are farmers whose animals are dying in droves. water pulled from the rivers for drinking carries diseases and those water-born bacterias are wreaking havoc on the most destitute communities.

i can't really complain about 18 hours water-free.

water is regulated, sent through the pipes when there is extra. if you're lucky, the pipes dump into a holding tank and you're set for a few days. most people aren't so lucky. barrels and buckets get filled; water to be rationed out until the next time it flows freely. children play in and near, far too frequently children drown.

i can live with a sink full of dirty dishes.

tanks and buckets full of clean water attract mosquitoes. the bite of a dengue mosquito debilitates: pain, fever, vomiting. there is no magic "malaria" medicine for this bug. if you can afford a hospital, you have a better chance of not dying from hemorraghic shock.

at least we have running water, clean and purified enough to shower, cook and clean without risk of infection.

because we all remember how cholera ripped through haiti and decimated a people in a matter of months.

i can mop my floor tomorrow. clean the dishes later. and bathe with a bucket.
because we have water to drink. water to share.
it's only been 18 hours.
some people live a life time with no clean water.

family vacation.

2011-04-21T16:25:00.000-07:00

the dominican republic is filled with resorts. i mean, who could blame developers for building on these beautiful beaches? white sand, turquoise water, ideal weather almost all of the time? of course they did.

it's not very often we take advantage of the all-inclusive scene. once or twice a year for a night or two - we're more public beach people.

but this year, my momma turned 50 and she wanted to celebrate! so, we're on the beach - in a nice AI resort for FIVE days. yes, FIVE.

no dishes, no laundry. no cooking, no cleaning. and grandparents to spoil children, uncle to spoil children... and all the free, leisure time one could want!

losin' weight.

2011-04-19T16:17:00.000-07:00

i've struggled with weight loss since high school. i don't say weight gain, because, well, that parts easy.

i've lost significant amounts of weight, just to put it right back on! disgusting, i know.

as i inch closer to the big 3-0, i've decided it's time for a change. a big. huge. dynamic change. one that includes losing almost more than my two kids weigh. combined.

i want to be fit. i want to be an active mom. and more, i want my kids to follow my example. i want to eat healthy, go for walks and just be in shape.

in january, i started on this journey. exercising, eating more fruits and veggies and not so much fried food (which if you know the dominican cuisine, you will know is very. very. difficult). and after a few weeks, i started seeing results. so, i kicked it up. more exercise. even more healthy choices. and now. getting the family in on it.

we take walks almost every day. and the kids will choose bananas and pineapples over lollipops and potato chips any day. and don't even mention a carrot if you haven't got one. we eat pounds of carrots every week.

and it's paying off.
really.
i am about 1/3 of the way into the weight goal. and my fitness goals is to run a race before the end of the year. i'm so excited about this new way of life.

on why i cut my hair.

2011-04-17T15:17:00.000-07:00

i have always had long hair. and it was always the pride of my aunts. long, thick, brown hair. beautiful.

i cut it in high school once. real short. but then i let it grow. and grow. and grow.

it got to the point where i wouldn't cut it, because it was so nice. and the pride of my aunts and grandmom, was now my pride. in that nasty meaning of pride.
and for no reason at all, because i am not a fussy, do my hair, spend time primping kind of girl. so, my hair lived in a perpetual messy knot on the top of my head. sometimes i went days without brushing it. gross.

and then. in november, while stalking on facebook, i ran into an old friend. and right there, for all of facebook to see, a photo album called "cancer haircuts." this friend had the most beautiful, long, curly black hair. and now, here were pictures of her freshly shaved head.

here i was with this head full of precious locks. tied up in a rat's nest while my friend shaved hers off to prevent the dreaded fall-out.

i decided then to cut it off, donate the pony tail to a wig-making outfit. i had planned to do it when i was in philadelphia, but chickened out like three times. and every week, i made plans to go to the salon, but never actually made it.

i don't know what caused me to go. but i knew it needed to happen. my hair was going to serve a better purpose on someone else's head. my knotty ponytail days are over. so i went. sat in the chair, tied up my pony tail and 45 minutes later was sporting a new do.

this week my 15 inch pony tail will be put in an envelope and mailed in honor of my friend and her courageous fight against cancer. if anyone can beat this, she can.

where i've been.

2011-04-15T04:33:00.000-07:00

i've been mia for awhile. sorry about that.

things have been moving and shaking and changing and then going right back to where they were. two steps forward, one back.

it's a time of transition down here. samil will start pre-school in the fall, which for normal people would be nothing... but here it means changing tons of things. my job, the biggest. see, i work in the afternoons - from 3 til around 7. i get home, usually, close to 8pm. but samil is going to study in the morning.

who had kids so they'd never see them? not me.

so. new job. i looked at private schools in mono- and bi- lingual settings. i looked at language institutes. i even looked into starting a service that offers english classes to bigger companies. i got my heart set on one school - a great school with great pay. i interviewed. i demo-taught. i interviewed again. and again. and i got frustrated.

know how God puts things to us right when we need it?
after the one millionth interview, i was sure i had the job. then i had the millionth and one, got frustrated and took my resume elsewhere. c'mon, who makes job candidates run around like that? really it was only 4 separate meetings, but it seemed there was always something more. come bring us this, come talk to me about that. and a new something-else everytime i went! (in fact, i taught their SAT math class for a few weeks and after the class was over they asked me to take a competency test, just so they could have it on file! the class was finished, i had been paid. really? a test that you give to people applying for jobs? ridiculous).

i had been set on this school. but. i can't handle the run around.
so, when I got a call from the best (paying) university in santiago, i ironed my only set of business cas. clothes and headed out. i was offered the job on the spot (what a relief after the craziness of that school!) and i start may 11.

i think there are some things to iron out still, like my hours (for the summer, i'll still be teaching in the PM, but once school starts in August, i'll be able to name my own), but i'm super excited.

we begin the transition from a stay-at-home family to a pre-school bound one! amely will still stay with the nanny and, now, we'll be able to maximize our time, and actually have more to spend together!

don't you all hate...

2011-04-07T14:40:00.000-07:00

how i swear i'm back... and then disappear for another few weeks?

it's been nuts getting into a swing with no internet and tons of tutoring.

i'll get it back soon, i think.

missed me?

2011-03-24T15:08:00.000-07:00

have you all (five of you?) missed me lately?

we're back to no internet.

and frankly nothing super interesting to write about that would be interesting enough to bore you through.

i'll be back soon enough. there's some big news coming (and, no, it's not a baby)

lost.

2011-03-15T14:58:00.001-07:00

ha.

i lost 2.5 pounds this week.

back on track.

and back to blogging next week

on why i hate my bathroom.

2011-03-02T05:44:00.000-08:00

one thing i never really counted on when i moved to the caribbean was just how much cleaning would be involved. i'm not anti-cleaning, see, but when you get used to once a week throw-downs with the bleach, having to do it everyday is a bit tedious.

our first apartment was on an unpaved road. granted, we were at the very back of a huge apartment complex, but the amount of dust that entered through the (screen-less) windows killed me. i can't even imagine what it was like at the front of that complex. eventually, they paved the road and i stopped having so much foot traffic and the dust got better.

our road here is unpaved but for some reason the dust isn't as bad. it might be the gigantic balcony that separates my living room from the front of the of the house and catches the majority of nastiness (cleaning that balcony is a chore... but i'll take that over dusting my furniture six times a day).

i've never had allergies like this in my life. but the dust isn't even the worst of it. it's the mildew.

all this beautiful, hot air is filled with moisture. forget about keeping anything perishable. mold will kill it in less than 24 hours.

i guess it isn't bad if you learn (fast) to put things in air-tight containers and don't count on long-life for anything. except if you're anal about the bathroom.

i'm not.

but, i am kind of disgusted by the mold that grows on the walls of the shower, the disgusting water rings in the toilet that are almost impossible to get rid of and the walls with their black dots from mildew. and even more disgusted by the fact that i scrubbed my bathroom yesterday and we're right back at square one today.

i've mixed up a concoction of bleach and mistolin (the local freshener of choice) in a spray bottle and spray the curtain and walls every morning. we wipe down the toilet and sink. the nanny mops the floor in the afternoon. and still.

mold.
mildew.
yuckiness.

anyone else living in the humidity that can help?
i might build a latrine out back if this doesn't improve!

getting hope.

2011-03-01T03:42:00.000-08:00

just the other day, i had a meeting with a group of american women. if you've read this blog for long enough, you'll know i've tried this experiment before. and usually it fails because the lifestyle of most expats is over our heads - and not something i aspire to. ever.

but, i go through phases where i need to surround myself with people similar to me - raised with similar values and wanting similar things from life. i (am pretty sure) that i have found some americans who fit the bill.

there's always a catch. always. and the catch here is that they're missionaries.

what?

i know, i was a missionary. but i really did hate 90% of the missionary stuff (and cherish deeply the 10% remaining) and in the six years that have passed since then, i've seen things that make me want to throw up.

you see. i love jesus. deeply, immensely. i want to be like jesus and i want my children to love him and for all of my friends to know him. and i've read the bible.

a lot.

and i don't find the place in there at all where it says that we should run around telling people how to live and how not to. in fact, it tells us just the opposite. can't tell someone about the splinter in their eye if i've got a log in mine... and well, i might as well have a whole tree in mine!

my life should radiate god's love so much that it rubs off on other people. they should see jesus in me and want to be like him, too, right? nothing wrong with that. but how does that affect my view of missions?

there are some amazing missionaries in this country (and around the world) who are doing what they need to do. and there are some who make me want to never step foot in a church again. when i was in the church, i was surrounded by people who had created a culture of "give me." whenever an american came to the church, children lined up waiting for presents. it took me a year to break that. why did it happen?

because that's what they were taught by the missionaries. god loves you, so we're going to give you stuff! i'm not against presents, but really? you can't just spend time with these kids, love them and show them jesus' love and have that be enough? do they really need all that candy, hairclips, baby erasers and junk that you have to give them? probably not.

but it's not the stuff that is the problem. it's the idea that material good represent jesus' love for us. the children had gotten it into their heads that if people loved them, they'd give them stuff. and remember in the bible where it says that? oh, wait, it doesn't. in fact, it tells us to GIVE UP everything we have to follow jesus.

this might sound like a rant. but it's a solid observation and something i've always felt was not quite right. we live in a third world country. the situation here is dismal for most very poor people. the cost of living is rising. sex trafficking in the DR is high - and the amount of women who will "sell" themselves to the first seedy american looking for a "wife" is shocking. young girls are sold to the highest bidder - who can provide the family with the highest quality of life. what man can pull them from poverty and continue the cycle of unnecessary dependence? it's what we're teaching our children here.

so, here i am, with a little (well...) tightening in my chest when i think of the damage caused by some. and here i am, meeting with a group of missionaries. i was reluctant at first. but then i met them.

and i see something different. starting with how they actually live in the poor areas they serve, don't live in mansions and send their kids to the same schools they sponsor as a ministry. instead of giving material, i think they are sharing love.

will this lead to life long friendships and dismissal of my poor impressions? maybe. but if not, it'll probably chip off some of that sadness. and give me hope that jesus' word can be spread without material goods - without teaching kids that following jesus means presents every time they see a foreigner. and teaching them that they have value and are worth far, far more than a candy bar or a nice house on the hill.

i have hope.

patio.

2011-02-26T15:34:00.000-08:00

my kids are out back, playing with a bunch of broken toys on the old, cement foundation of what used to be a clapboard house. they are as happy as can be.

these kids would play outside all day if we didn't live in a third floor apartment on a fairly busy road. and they do play outside for hours when i let them go to the babysitters house down the street.

it's hard to get outside time here. even with a backyard. the sun is usually so hot, my little white babies are red in twenty minutes. or sweating buckets. or complaining about how hot it is.

we're visiting a friend today, trying to get some work done and relaxing. it's independence day for the dominican republic - one of like 17 celebratory days for no real independence. the power struggle for this island has never really ended. but it's a party day nonetheless, a no work kind of day where families attend carnival celebrations, parades and eat sancocho from pots that hold 15 gallons cooking over campfires in the street.

it's a good day. with the babies playing out back, not too much sun and just warm enough to be fun. a good day with family and friends and (hopefully) some delicious food.

a good day.

caring boy.

2011-02-23T03:27:00.000-08:00

This picture is pretty typical samil. see the looks on the girls' faces? like "what is this kid doing!?"
he loves his sister with a passion. and most girls littler than him.

on saturday, he went to the university with his dad and when a lady bought him a bag of chips, he insisted (and by insisted, i mean threw a tantrum) because "where are amely's chips?"
yesterday, a friend came by to see him and brought a lollipop. before he even accepted his, he made sure there was one for his sister.

yesterday, samil had a little surgery. in and out (because i don't want to re-tell the craziness of the day, let's just assume that the healthcare system here works well). and luckily he's got my genes, because he hasn't cried or whined more than necessary (we all know how some guys get when they're sick).

this morning, he cried a little when he peed, asked for some ice... and then.
went back in the bathroom to help amely flush her "pees" down the toilet.
do i have a selfless kid or what?

(oh and amely is potty training herself, if she keeps at it i won't have to do any work at all... score.)

the metrosexual.

2011-02-22T10:58:00.000-08:00

last week i had to infringe on the sanctum of masculinity. samil got it in him that he wanted a haircut.

this kid never wants a haircut.

and since he has nice hair, we let him go with it. but, in an attempt to nourish the desire to shave his head, we jump on every chance we get to take him - tearless - to the barber shop.

and by we, i mean amalio. or my brother-in-law, isaias.

but, samil got the need and the schedule was hectic. so i got to take him.

now, in my defense, i went at 10am, thinking we'd get in and out before any other customers were awake. um, no. we got a number, and had to go back. at noon. on a friday. to a full shop.

i took my iPod, you know, out of respect for the men and their special place. really, though, they just talked about basketball. boring.

but, what impacted me was the list of services. haircut, haircut with shape-up, shave. haircut AND a shave.

eyebrows. manicure.

what?

i love that title metrosexual that's so popular in magazines. is he gay? is he metro? how about, is he latino?

because i think the latins have the market. straight jeans, polished shoes, button front shirts. eyebrows and manicures at the barbershop.

move over, metro.
spanish is sexier.

on keeping a clean house.

2011-02-20T10:13:00.000-08:00

i am not a housekeeper.

i try my hardest. i really do. and our house is always presentable (except on laundry day). but i am not into it.

i had a housekeeper for a long time, but then it just got tedious having to follow after her (them, because we tried a few times before i gave up) cleaning up what she missed. my floors were always shiny for 20 minutes after she left (i can't get my floors shiny for three seconds, let alone 20 minutes) but that was about it. i had grime in the bathtub, cobwebs in the corners and couldn't ever find anything. really.

once i found my passport in a sock. on my dresser. with some other important bank papers.

a sock? really?

the nanny keeps up on things nowadays and i scrub away when i get a bee in my bonnet. the bathroom gets done once a week (because i can't handle having someone else do it wrong. it kills me). and i do laundry whenever it's not raining (it's raining a lot here recently). i can organize. and i've even gotten good at donating/throwing away/ putting away for later (i used to be a way bigger packrat).

but, the cleaning - the dusting, the mopping, the windows. i can't handle it. we live on an unpaved road. with ceramic floors. and venetian windows.

can anyone help me?
my kids aren't old enough to be my (unpaid) cleaners! and i'm apparently too anal to pay someone to do a bad job. (disclaimer: by dominican standards, i'm sure they do a great job. i just haven't really lowered myself to paying for poor services - which explains why we live without a certain number of things most americans find important).

suggestions, please!

new and improved.

2011-02-19T04:23:00.000-08:00

i'm kind of a sucker about raising my rates.

i do private tutoring, and to be honest, my students can afford to pay way more than i charge. when they show up in chauffered bmws for class, you might just assume they have more than most dominicans.

and even though i found out the rates of private tutors in santo domingo (some charge $40 US dollars an hour!) and compared it to here, i still had a really hard time asking for that raise. don't get me wrong, i'm not getting ripped off. i get paid well, but.

remember the teacher strike i wrote about here? the reasons causing the strike are affecting more than just public school teachers. my transportation costs jumped $40 pesos a day last month which sounds minimal in dollars (about $1.15), but when you consider that we pay about 1/4 of the US price of rent for a big, three-bedroom apartment in a nice area and our electric bill in never more than twenty bucks... a dollar a day is a stretch on the wallet. and speaking of electric, it's doubled in the past 6 months - and not because we use more. the rates (like everywhere, i think) doubled. and gasoline? forget about that, almost $6 US dollars a gallon.

so when the price of gas went up again, and another transportation hike is looking likely, i raised my rates - and reduced my hours! i eliminated a whole student (who cost me the most in transportation... and in headaches) and now i get home earlier!

it's so nice to get home before 8o'clock at night. and to still get the money i deserve. and not have the headaches some tutoring causes. (and to clarify, i really loved my student... it was her mama that drove me crazy). so, my new and improved schedule. unfortunately, it still doesn't leave much to the internet, since we still are dis-connected here at home (and i'm kind of liking that).

check back to see what i'm doing with all my new free time.

and finally.

2011-02-17T12:28:00.000-08:00

we've been trying to schedule samil for a little routine surgery (wait... is any surgery really "routine"?) for the past six months. that's right, six months.

we use a government based insurance for public school teachers and well... the system has been having some problems. growing pains and the hiccups they cause on top of full scale government corruption and poor money management. here in santiago we're lucky enough to have a clinic that offers something, because in most of the country they teachers have been without healthcare for months. and as a result many, many a child in an already illiterate nation is missing day after day of classes while teachers, until very recently, just decided to sit at home and wallow.

well.

there is a movement. and it's powerful. and i am so. so proud of the association of teachers for their non-violent protest in the midst of a very violent cultural protest. on days when garbage and tires and mess is being burned in the streets in protest, the teachers are marching.

they started in the north and are marching to the capital. they started in the east and are marching. and they west started marching, too. tomorrow, they'll converge in the capital. teachers from all over the country. after having marched, on foot, from town to town, in public demonstration of their determination.

determination because they value their jobs. and they want the government to value them, too. they value the future of this country and are demanding that the future be given what it deserves. 4% of the GDP.

we can't make it to santo domingo tomorrow, but we'll wear our yellow in solidarity and keep on fighting for the future.

because if it doesn't happen now, when will it?

all good plans.

2011-02-15T12:59:00.000-08:00

so i had this great plan for keeping up with my blog... and then i had to change my work schedule and my free hour went out the window.

i've been pretty busy since we returned to the dominican republic, but not so busy that i'm insane. i've been working on the tutoring (and doing pretty well for myself, if i might add) and getting into schooling samil and amely. plus, we're getting a mom's group up and running and i'm trying to get more involved around where we live.

i'm amazed at how much the kids are assimilating from the activities we do together. i'm also reaffirmed everyday about our decision to a) keep samil at home as long as we have (it's pretty anti-culture here) and b) not to work full time. i see a direct correlation between his behavior and how well he behaves when i'm at work. raising kids with values and manners, i think, is hard but definitely worth the extra effort.

i'm actually in a tutoring class now, so i am going to cut short with the hope of actually updating this soon.

getting back in.

2011-01-13T12:59:00.000-08:00

i'm finally back to work and in the swing of things. dominican holidays have messed up my flow - we've had three weeks of 4-day weeks - but i'm pretty settled either way.

there have been some amazing things going on.
groups to form, books to read, schooling to give.

and a new comedy inthe theaters by two of my favorite dominican comedians.

i'm good to go.
i really plan to re-take this blog and dedicate some time to it this year.
so keep your eyes open, i'll be back this week

headed home.

2010-12-30T20:07:00.000-08:00

it's been a good, long five weeks here in the chilly north and i'm pretty ready to get back to normal life. it has actually been a blessing to be able to spend so much time at home - one of the benefits of self-employment, i suppose.

in our time here, we've visited with friends, been to museums, shopped til i dropped, ran and ran. i am never, ever so busy. but the busy-ness is welcome on occasion, especially when it comes to galavanting!

samil's speech skills have increased dramatically. he is speaking in sentences and not mixing his languages as much. such a relief, since there is no real, qualified speech therapy in the dominican republic.

amely has grown by leaps and bounds and is getting brighter by the day. she does the stairs now (but it makes me nervous) and is so playful and fun. (and mischevious).

i'm now excited for the new year, for all that 2011 holds for us.
we leave january 1 at 6am, so we'll spend the first day of the new year as a family in santiago. i'm looking forward to it.

i'm going to try to post some pictures before we leave, but tomorrow will be hectic (like today) so no promises.

Happy New Year!

snow.

2010-12-29T08:16:00.001-08:00

it might be obvious, but just in case it's not.
we don't get snow.
none. ever.
(duh)

so, it's a big deal when the kids get a blizzard in december.
last year, samil hated it. every last second was torture. but this year, he embraced the white stuff and played, shovelled and cleaned off the cars.

amely, however, was not so impressed.
who can blame her, though? she could barely move.

samil even got to sit in a 'scooper' truck and pretend to be a plowman.

school in the home.

2010-12-15T06:26:00.000-08:00

people sometimes ask me if i like living in the dominican republic. it's a weird question because, obviously, i don't hate it. and if i didn't like living there, i probably wouldn't.

now, there are things that i do absolutely hate. i hate that it is always 100% humidity. i hate the racism towards haitians. i hate that there is always a political campaign happening.

and, there are things i just dislike. but there are so many things that i do like. even love. but there is only one thing that absolutely disgusts me. and it's the state of education. the public school system doesn't get enough money and the private schools are there to suck money.*

we decided before we even thought of getting married that our kids would go to public school. amalio works in the public system and we feel strongly that if he doesn't believe that the system is good enough for his own kids, then it shouldn't be good enough for other people's kids. poor or not. and i've worked in and with enough top of the line private schools to know that they tend to be money machines before educational institutions.

but, even having made that decision so many years ago and being okay with it, i have a hard time trying to figure out how the babies are going to get what they need. i grew up in public schools. and kids i know who went private are in the same situations as i am. with the lucky few who have made it big, we're all pretty much the same. but, school in the dominican republic is different.

i started surfing through the blog world. i wasn't against homeschooling, just didn't know too much about it. and, most homeschool kids i met in college were super weird. unsocialized. but, as i searched more and more into the options of educational enhancement, i grew a new respect for these parents who devote themselves to making sure their children are properly educated.

our kids will go to public school, but since school is only 3 hours daily, we'll supplement with homeschooling. i'm starting now with some pre-school activities and we'll see how it goes. i don't think i could ever do it full-time, but i'm thankful for those who do and post their ideas (and printouts) on the web for me to steal (use?).

i've spent a ton of time over this holiday, surfing the web and finding activities for samil and amely, it's been a great time learning what is out there and how to use it. i feel blessed to have found such a wealth of knowledge that makes me feel better, more secure, about living in a third world country and still raising kids who can make the cut throughout the world. as i get time, i'll blog about what we're doing and how we're doing it. (since i'm such a great blogger, right?)

do you have any crazy education stories?

i know that there are many very good private schools that cost a lot of money. they provide good education, but nobody but the elite can afford them. to me, they don't count.

it's cold out there.

2010-12-14T06:23:00.001-08:00

i'm not really in the holiday mood. i've got most of the shopping done, the tree is up and lights are hung. and it's really cold.

really, really cold.

today i'm heading to rice's market (an outdoor flea market) with a friend and the kids. in santiago, we go to outdoor fruit markets and even the "pulga" with the kids. the only security precaution is to put on sneakers instead of sandals because the floors are nasty.

i got the kids ready here - samil has on fleece lined overalls, socks to his knees, and two shirts. amely is wearing tights, jeans and leg warmers, a long sleeved onsie and a sweater. i'll bundle them in their winter coats with hats and gloves.

in all, it'll take a good twenty minutes just to dres in winter clothes.
i don't think i was made for this kind of parenting.

Dear Santa.

2010-12-10T05:38:00.001-08:00

Samil does not like Santa Claus. I mean, we don't really do the Santa thing - I have their picture taken every year, and we ask Samil what he wants Santa comes to bring - but when push comes to shove, I don't think he gets it (what three year old does?) and he probably won't. It's not part of Dominican culture (Baby Jesus and the Three Wise Men bring gifts) and so he's not immersed in that santa, santa, santa custom.

Every year since Samil was a baby, we've taken him to get his picture done. we go to the mall, do some shopping, ride the carousel and see the old man. when he was three months old, samil was fine. 15 months old - he screamed. last year, screamed. this year, we talked about it before we went and he told me he wasn't going to cry.

he didn't cry, but look at the miserable face! amely did the crying for him and tried to squirm out of santa's arms before they snapped the picture. on her defense, though, she was fine for the first few minutes, but waiting for samil made her antsy. this is the best shot they got.

i think we're going to have a book of hilarious santa pictures when they grow up if we keep going this way!

easy bake oven.

2010-12-07T19:19:00.000-08:00

we don't get to bake very often because i have a ridiculous oven that burns everything in the back and undercooks in the front. it's a mess of turning pans around every 12 minutes... and that's not even mentioning that there is no real temperature setting. it's hot, or it's not.

but i love to bake.

and by bake, i mean rip open a box of betty crocker and let samil whip something tasty up.

i digress.

since we've been in philadelphia, samil has branched out from his betty crockers and made from-scratch brownies. and he even included amely. you know, allowing her to pour in the eggs (from a cup) and then promptly taking everything away from her. i mixed up some frosting and the result was delish.

my mom had one of those cookie-in-a-jar things that we made yesterday. they were okay but more work than the promised "it's so easy" on the jar.

i've got some more things up my sleeve before i head home - and hopefully this year i'll be able to invest in a new oven (though it is not at the top of that priority list since it works well enough to throw down rice and beans every.single.day)

work hard for the money.

2010-12-05T05:27:00.000-08:00

samil gets kind of upset when someone leaves for work. it's not inconsolable emotion, but he gets worried, i think.

so, we've started telling him we have to go to work to make money. because, really, what 3 year old doesn't understand money?

yesterday morning he called me at work.

"mami, donde estas?" (where you at, momma)
"at work"
"trabajando for money?" (working for money?)
"yes."
"traime chicle, mami" (bring me some gum).

then my dad called the house and samil asked him, too, where he was. he was at work, so samil wanted to know how much money he was making.

guess he's looking for how many christmas presents he'll be getting.

alligator skin.

2010-12-03T04:50:00.001-08:00

there are so many downsides to the humidity in santiago: frizzy hair, mildew everywhere, suffocation...

but, i never have skin problems. and i have always had skin problems. like, elbows that you could use as a pumice stone on the nastiest feet and dandruff like you've never seen. and now poor amely has my dry skin disgusting-ness.

how do i know she has dry skin if it is always humid in santiago?

because in philadelphia its too dry. it's causing an itchiness that is incurable. no lotion is good enough. no shampoo saves the dandruff. (okay, admittedly i haven't developed any dandruff yet this visit, but still...)

anyone have any suggestions on lotion that cures alligator skin?

on cholera.

2010-12-02T05:32:00.000-08:00

it's amazing how little i've seen on the tv about haiti lately. i guess considering the dominican news spends about half it's broadcast on haiti nowadays, i've grown accustomed to that. however. it's sad to me how little people real know about what's going on.

i get questions. tons of questions. irrelevant questions, mostly. all from good-hearted people wanting to know.

but it gets old. i do not live in haiti. and the dominican republic, although still healthy and un-earthquake affected, has its own problems that need resolution. while haiti is right next door, it doesn't consume me.

i have a heart for haitian people. i can defend myself in creole. i have haitian friends. i have travelled to haiti. but it is not my life.

most of these questions revolve around the cholera epidemic. so here's the deal, people.

1. it is unsure whether cholera has made its way into the dominican republic. some reports say yes, some say no. there are, however, no deaths from cholera in the DR at this time.

2. there is a cholera vaccine. many dominicans have it. most haitians do not.

3. the reason, i believe, that cholera has been so deadly in Haiti, is that the healthcare opportunities are few and far between. some haitians walk for days to get to a clinic. by the time they get there, the dehydration has already killed them. this is not the case in the DR. there are more places to get treated, and therefore less likelihood of death from cholera.

4. just because there are more opportunities, doesn't mean that people wouldn't die. there is an innate sense of distrust of the medical establishment and people try home remedies before anything else. this could cause problems. but.

5. the government is doing a full out prevention campaign - you know, wash your hands; keep flies off your food; bleach the dirt away; drink lots of water if you get the poops. go right to the hospital.

6. and three cheers for the government who is also posting the posters and campaigning in creole to the immigrant population.

wordless wednesday.

2010-12-01T05:28:00.000-08:00

support haiti.

2010-11-30T06:38:00.001-08:00

it's christmastime and i know that everyone's money is tied up in presents and charities.

consider this year sending money to a charity that supports haiti. there are plenty of christian organizations and NGOs that work in the country and are making change and doing amazing things.

i could list a bunch of charities - but after reading a blogpost about a young girl traveling to haiti this month, i decided to ask my readers to support her. in a time of disease and destruction, young people are still feeling called to share gods love on the island of hispaniola - and for me, that's powerful. young people who could be spending their time and money doing so many other things but instead are selflessly getting on planes to a country desperately in need of Jesus this Christmas season.

So, if you're feeling inclined - check out and read about samara's "advent conspiracy" and consider donating financially to Rachel's trip to Haiti.

run run run

2010-11-29T15:44:00.000-08:00

so, in 2010 i was supposed to be getting healthy. remember that?

well. i did okay, but lost track of the exercise somewhere between amely deciding not to sleep through the night and the humidity trying to suffocate me while i ran. excuses, i know, but sleep deprivation is brutal and you've never experienced humidity until you've lived in the DR. (unless you've been to a rainforest, and then i'll exempt you from my generalization).

we did okay with eating choices, but i'll be honest, it's hard for me to passby chocolate. so when all is said and done i'm nowhere near where i need to be.

so. on my vacation, i've gotta get back in the saddle. partly because here in philadelphia the heat isn't going to suffocate me (however, the cold might freeze me!). no promises on the healthy eating, but the exercising is definite because i definitely don't want to gain back whatever weight i did lose this year.

here's to getting back in shape BEFORE the new year!

we have arrived.

2010-11-28T18:28:00.001-08:00

i know in my last post i promised continuing posts starting thursday. alas, things got busy and, well, here i am. sunday night.

travelling with two babies and a three hour layover was... not un-fun, but not something i'd describe as fun. it was thanksgiving. people wanted to go whereever they were going and a three year old in the middle of the walkway with his little suitcase was holding them up.

three cheers for samil who walked the entire way from the plane to customs, then to baggage claim and then out and around and through security again in miami airport. three cheers for amely who jumped out of her stroller three times. guess i ought to start using that straps.

we did get home in one piece, and not utterly exhausted, so i'd say the trip was a success.

we celebrated thanksgiving on friday - turkey and cranberry sauce, yes please. and on saturday we celebrated my neice's first birthday. today i headed out sola to the church of a good friend. that brings us to now.

and regular, more interesting than this i promise, blog updates.

happy thanksgiving (belatedly, of course, because that's my style).

absence

2010-11-19T12:28:00.001-08:00

blogher so gratefully reminded me about my blog via email this week.

the blog i apparently have neglected for the past month!

don't worry folks, i'll soon have five weeks of unlimited internet access to fill you heads with mindless babble on thursday.

see you then!

craziness that it is.

2010-10-16T14:50:00.000-07:00

with all internet excuses aside, i´ve not blogged in a long time. i´ve slacked on a lot of things recently and life is just moving f.a.s.t.

i started back to work ¨full time¨in september. it´s not full.time. please. it doesn´t even count as part time in the states. but for me, it´s consistent but still takes a chunk out of my day. i´ve got a fair amount of students but luckily there´s not a lot of running around and the pay is way better than i´d actually make in a ¨real¨job.

i had decided that i wasn´t going to work more than 15 hours a week, including my SAT prep class early on. but, the opportunity has arisen for some college counseling and i´ve taken it. stupid? maybe. but the extra money is going away for a rainy day.

the kids are getting bigger and samil, especially, is like a little sponge. his language that was worrying just a few weeks ago is taking off (albeit in spanish more than english) and we´re happy not to have to take some (costly) measures to fix a speech problem. i think the reason that he is spitting out more spanish than english is that i´ve been seriously slacking on the educational front.

shame on me. here i am ranting about how horrible it is to stick your kid in dominican preschool because they learn more at home... except, i´m not offering it. so. i went on the cleaning spree of a lifetime to organize and and then create a plan of action. both kids really get a lot out of the more-guided activities and play we do (and behave so much better afterwards). sadly i made it through every room in the house except the kids room.

i´ll blame that one on the plumbing disaster we had yesterday morning when the pipes under our kitchen sink literally exploded.

this week the plan is to get back on the exercise bandwagon, plan out the meals again and finish the kids room. and then create the plan and stick with it.

i´ll let you know if it actually happens.

help with a technical question

2010-10-16T10:03:00.000-07:00

so, since i don't have internet at home, i've been trying to write some blogs and then post them - but when i copy and paste blogger won't accept the format.

any suggestions how to fix this?

not so fun.

2010-09-26T06:45:00.000-07:00

we've been covered in poop and vomit for the past week.

and only at night.
because when we're at work and the nanny is here, the kids are f.i.n.e.

it's bliss, i tell you, to wake up to change poop filled underwear three times in a night.

though it was pretty funny when the baby threw up all over my brother-in-law :)

dis-connect

2010-09-24T05:55:00.000-07:00

Life without internet is relieving. Un alivio grande.
Not perfect. And definitely not easy. I’ll explain.
When you have a constant connection to the internet superhighway, sometimes it can distract you from the little streets and roads that make up your life. That highway is so sleek and fast and has so few potholes, that it’s just more interesting to connect there than to, I don’t know, cook arroz y habichuelas everyday in your boring, provincial life.
Yes, provincial. Because, even though we live in the second largest city in the Dominican Republic, our little apartment is surrounded by little pieces of land used for fincas. I’m not talking about little, urban, community gardens filled with ochre and tomatoes. I’m talking about corn and yucca and banana and platano trees. And those little plots of earth that aren’t filled with the Dominican staple foods are filled with cows. And we’re still woken up every morning with the kee-kee-kiree of the rooster.
Diversion. When you’re life is slow, the internet is appealing. More than appealing. We used to have a broadband in our old house. And we even set forth the paperwork to get internet here when we moved, but one problem after another, al estilo dominicano and we gave up trying for now. And do you know what? I never noticed how much time I (we) wasted on the internet before we didn’t have it.
I check my email almost every day at my students’ house and if I can swing checking the facebook for pictures of all those babies being born in the states right now, I will. But, when I actually make time to sit down and use the internet I find myself, more often than not, doing nada. It’s true, I read my blogs – it’s like the poor man’s celebrity gossip (I’ll be honest, I secretly relish in knowing that other people are having the same (or worse) difficulties – it makes me feel better about not being superwoman). And I try to maintain some semblance of email relationships with my tutoring kids’ school teachers and I really do try to maintain contact with my amigos. But all that can be done in like 10 minutes. Maybe 20.
Everything else is fluff.
Don’t get me wrong. There are days that I need to research something, or need a clipart for a project or would like to just skype with my family – but the amount of time I waste on the internet is incredible. And since we don’t have it anymore, I find I’m more dedicated to coming up with the kids’ “school” activities (and when I do search for their info, I download everything at once and read it at home) instead of stealing things from other people and just wasting ink printing out things that might not suit our little bilingual pre-school homeschool. I go to bed earlier. And this summer I packed away a record ten books in two months! And 1 was even in francais. When was the last time I read in French? And enjoyed it? And when I get the internet, I actually use it for a purpose instead of reading about how so-and-so is potty training her four year old twins and cries everyday that she’s doing a bad job while her husband tells her what a bad mom she is. (because not only should that not be public information on the internet, but nobody should be feeling good about those types of bad situations).
I miss it sometimes, but mostly I’m just enjoying the little side-streets and callejones of life while that super-pista is, and always, will be there waiting for when there’s time for it.

Pool Time

2010-08-29T06:31:00.001-07:00

amely's first painting .

2010-08-12T12:45:00.000-07:00

this summer has been lax on the educational/crafty/creative activities around these parts. it's either been raining something fierce (and chilly) or disgustingly hot. two types of days that warrant playing inside (either cuddlin' up or sittin' under a fan). besides, we've been from here to there and there to here more than normal and mostly just soaking up our "vacation" time.

it's time, though, to get back into routine - and now that the house is in order (thanks to some cheapy purchases to organize the kids' closet and babysitter dan to keep the kids out of my hair) and things are organized enough to get to, we're trying to get back in the swing of things.

i pulled out some paints the other day, made a pallet out of a floppy plastic cutting board, covered the little table and threw down some paint brushes. after taking off the kids shirts (i hate laundry), i let them go.

amely had never painted before (that's why there's more pictures of her than samil, sorry kid). she preferred to use her hands instead of the brush and to paint her belly rather than the paper. oh well. samil used some letter stamps to make his name which he used like twice before switching back to the brushes.

the stamps are made out of cardboard and yarn. i made a chain with the yarn and hot glued it to the cardboard in the shape of letters. make sure you make your letters in reverse, though, because they are mirror images.

amely prefers finger painting.

and painting herself.

samil loves to paint! (you can kind of see his name on this one)these are the stamps we used.

yay! paint!

tio ya-ya

2010-08-11T21:01:00.000-07:00

my brother in law lives with us. sometimes, especially at the beginning, it was a nuisance and an inconvenience. he is young and lives with us mostly because no one else wanted him. he graduated high school the summer before we got married and no one ever foresaw him going anywhere else with his life. he'd be driving a motocycle taxi forever, trying to get by on a few hundred pesos a day.

fast-forward five years and the kid is almost out of college, has held down a decent job in a professional environment (with almost constant "promotions") for the past four and has proven to be a spectacular uncle.

the kids love him.

(samil pre-haircut)

(amely giving kisses)

dirty face.

2010-08-10T20:53:00.000-07:00

this little girl is such a love. she's cuddly and sweet, and has a little aggressive streak coming out (just like mami i suppose). she loves her brother with a passion, giving him hugs and kisses (and beating him on the head with his own toys!) whenever she gets the chance.

trouble with a capital T

2010-08-09T20:17:00.000-07:00

we've spent a fair bit of time up in the campo this summer with my in-laws. it's not something i love to do, but samil does. of course his obsession with cows and other farm animals makes it the most desirable place for him to be but he also loves spending time with his cousins.

sujeidys lives with my father-in-law, and is the only cousin to spend any prolonged period of time with us in santiago (a week in january, but hopefully longer soon). these two are sweet now, but we smell trouble in the future.

what? are you talking to me?

sweet suje (soo-hay) is such a darling girl.

samil played with this palm branch for h.o.u.r.s.

they turned them into horses and ran around like "vaqueros" (cowboys) all afternoon. except poor samil kept forgetting it was a horse (which he calls "cai-yas" (for caballo in spanish) and was running around making mooooooo sounds.

finger-lickin' good.

2010-08-08T20:03:00.000-07:00

that's a pig-roast style roasted pig, y'all.
my kids a champ.

dirt.

2010-08-07T19:54:00.000-07:00

i bought some seeds for samil a long time ago and never got around to finding some top soil to plant them in. in a moment of inspiration, i bought a bag of potting soil at the store (apartments are great, but not when you need dirt!) and amalio rearranged some plants so we could have this long planter.

samil planted cucumbers, tomatoes and peppers - the cucs and tomatoes are doing great, but we haven't seen a pepper yet! he goes out and waters them every morning and shows his plants to people who come over. it's almost time to thin them out and re-plant in their own jars.

exercise with kids.

2010-08-06T19:41:00.000-07:00

i've been trying to make some new habits this year. eat healthier, exercise more. be more active.
it's hard, though, to exercise with the kids around. i can't go to a gym because there's not one close enough to me. i usually strap the kids in the double stroller and head out... but, i like yoga. it relaxes me.

but. it's hard to relax with children climbing on you. so. we're training samil. that's one less child climbing on me, and one whole more really cute something beside me.

downward facing dog.

pretend medicine ball.

another beiber fan?

2010-08-05T18:43:00.000-07:00

confession: i love justin bieber. love.
apparently my love is rubbing off on the kids.

wooden chair.

2010-07-28T18:10:00.000-07:00

awhile back we looked around for plastic kids' chairs. samil was pretty young and we needed a place for him to sit. amalio found these plain wooden chairs with goat skin seats for super cheap. only 100 pesos (about 3USD) for a perfect, sturdy little chair. we only had samil, so he only got one. fast forward two years. amely was fast approaching her chair-sitting days, so amalio set out to find new chairs. only 20 pesos more than they were two years ago, he brought home two.

they are just plain chairs - made out of crude (though splinter-less) wood and an animal skin seat.

the first one i painted with some acrylic paints i had lying around. it's pretty beaten up now, but i think it's withheld some abuse in its lifetime.

this is amely's chair. it's amely's because it's got more pink than anything else. i only have a few acrylics lying around and pink was most abundant. i did get some blue after i finished this, so i'll make samil a predominantly blue one as soon as i have some time to sit down and finish it (after they go to bed, of course!)

it's things like these that i LOVE about the dominican republic. good quality, handmade goods for good prices. and these chairs were made out of scrapwoods that couldn't be used for other projects and the seat cover is made from animals that were killed for food. less waste. perfect.

\

2010-07-27T18:48:00.001-07:00

sum-sum-summatime

2010-07-27T08:31:00.000-07:00

after a long two weeks of beach, pool, campo, cows, summer camp and driving... this is what happened when we got home.

that's her pack-and-play all folded up. i sat her on it for a minute and when i came back... out cold.

samil slept on the couch for 2 hours.

monsoon.

2010-07-21T11:34:00.000-07:00

it's been raining something awful for about two weeks now.

the last i heard the reservoirs are overfull and might need to be opened. which in any other situation might be okay, but last time they were force-opened a lot of people lost their homes. and lives.

we spent a week in cabrera, where my in-laws live. it rained every.single.day. i did get to go to camp esperanza three out of the five days which made staying that long just about bearable.

my dad will be here tomorrow night. i'm excited.

Rainbow Tot School

2010-07-18T16:57:00.000-07:00

It's been a long time since i posted a tot-school. We've been running around a lot since it's summer, but we do throw some "school" in when we get the chance.

We've been working on the letter "R". Here's Samil using his letter blocks to trace an R.
I made this file folder from materials I got from Confessions of a Homeschooler and Homegrown Hearts
There are rainbow patterning, a puzzle and a size sorter. I also printed out this dot-page, which we used with magnetic bingo dots.

We also did some painting and coloring, but mostly we're just un-planned over here for awhile. The next theme, as soon as I get the printer to work right, is Noah's Ark.

Check out Carissa's blog to see more tot-school posts.

2010-06-30T10:30:00.000-07:00

A while back they started to fix the roads where we live. Apparently it had been a problem for some time and there was a lot of fighting and politics involved. A lot of things happen here during election years, and because this was a huge election year, the national government (as opposed to the city government who is supposed to fix their own streets) allotted a boat load of money to fix the roads in Santiago.
Like all well planned government actions, they started fixing the roads in every single neighborhood with bad roads at once. No problem if you’ve got the materials and equipment to do it. But this project was short on everything from the start.
When we moved in, I had a little bit of hope that they’d finish the roads – or at least my road, because we live on the principal street. It was, after all, an election year, and there were still 6 weeks until election day. After two weeks living here, though, I gave up. They had come to work on the roads every day for an hour. And mostly what they were doing was fixing the work they had done the day before.
A few days before election there was a protest – complete with news coverage and angry neighbors association members. What had happened was that the heavy equipment was taken to another neighborhood because that neighborhood had burned tires and threw stones in protest of the lack of work. But guess what? That’s what our neighborhood was prepared to do if they didn’t get those trucks back here a.s.a.p.
And miracle of miracle, the very next working day, those trucks were rolling up and down the street doing a whole lot of looking pretty and very little work.
The neighbors were happy that work was being done – but deep down I think everyone knew they wouldn’t finish in time for elections. They had just “inaugurated” streets in the barrio next door even though half of the streets weren’t finished! It’s amazing what poor, illiterate, uneducated people fall for during elections.
After elections they worked for a week. We haven’t seen them since. Supposedly there is a deficit of 25 million Dominican pesos because of the project to fix Santiago’s streets (and win votes on the correct side of the ballot). I’ve heard everything from there is no asphalt to finish to the disaster in the gulf has left us without petroleum to mix the asphalt. Nobody really knows what happens because the government just pretends the situation never happened.
There’s another election – a presidential – in 2012. I’m thinking that by the time that rolls around, we’ll get a paved street. And because it’s that important to win a vote, they might even paint the lines down the middle.

polygamy?

2010-06-28T10:29:00.000-07:00

A long time ago I met this guy – an older guy – who was friends with Amalio. Deported from the states for god only knows what, he would come over to reminisce about his days causing havoc in New York.
Super nice guy. With a lovely wife. There was just one thing. His wife couldn’t have babies. So, he had another wife. Not a lover. A wife. The mother of his children.
Weird, right?
So, we haven’t seen him in ages and we ran into him in the supermarket the other day. Him, his wife-with-no-babies and his brand-new son. A two month old baby. I, of course, assume that something happened and his wife (no babies) was able to have a baby. Yay! So, I say something to that affect but was quickly corrected.
This was not her baby, it was the other woman’s baby. But, wife number 1 got tired of not having any babies around, so she’s going to raise this one. Which I guess isn’t so weird, but then taxi drivers son comes over with HIS brand-new two month old baby. And because the son works too much and the mom (apparently) is a “good for nothing” the wife (no babies) is going to raise this baby, too.
This is no social commentary. I really don’t know what my opinion is about it, I just had to get it out there, because it was just too weird an experience to not share.

it's a small world, afterall

2010-06-26T10:25:00.000-07:00

Santiago is a small place. Shoot, the whole country is small. Yesterday, I was in a public car (think of a Nissan Maxima cerca 1985. Now, take out the sideboards on the door, shove 4 people in the back seat and two in the passenger seat. Pay 15 pesos a ride and you’ve got a public car. Not nearly as hilarious as converted micro-minis with wooden seats filled with 21 people seated, 3 hanging from the back bumper and two standing in the door well… but just as efficient and cheap in getting me where I need to go) when this woman gets in kind of frantic (read: crazy). She doesn’t have any money save a 1,000 peso note. They’re going to operate on her brother, she says, and she left the house in a hurry. The three of us in the car each give her 5 pesos to pay, even though the driver was going to let her ride for free. (see, there still are good people in the universe).
She goes on to tell the tale of a wicked car accident including a dominican-york (a dominican living in the states is called that because, as you might know, the USA isn’t really the name, it’s REALLY new York. What part of New York do you live in? Boston? Oh, wonderful. Oh, your sister is in the states? no, she’s in New York? What borough? Oh, she lives in Miami. Go figure). Said Dom-york had rented a luxury SUV and felt the need to show off his wealth after drinking 10 bottles of Brugal rum and a case of Presidente beer. I don’t know who is worse – the idiot who decided to drive drunk, or the idiots who decided to go with him, but the point is, he crashed (surprised? Me neither).
So, now this poor lady’s brother is getting operated on for a broken leg (or something, I wasn’t really paying too much attention). Where did this happen? In the campo. Yah, but which campo? You know, the one near that place. I tune out in these discussions, usually, because I know very little about the outskirts of Santiago. However, people start talking about these little towns and Dominicans’ radars turn on. Because everyone here is related to everyone else. No lie.
These people in the car start talking about the town the accident took place in, and BAM! The guy in the front seat says, “No way, YOUR brother is Jose?” I’m your long lost 17th cousin three-times removed! Your dad is so-and-so, right?
People sometimes stop me and ask me if I’m Amalio’s wife. Then they tell me their bizarre family lineage and how they’re related not only to Amalio but also his adopted family (Amalio moved to Santiago after his mom died and lived with another family from the same town. He claims both). As if that proves that we’re doubly connected.
Living in a place with such strong family connections is weird, especially since the US is so “immediate” family oriented. I can’t imagine ever having conversations with a random stranger about how we’re related or even knowing who my 14th cousin is. I’m lucky to even know my first cousins (and luckier that I do, in fact, know both my mom’s and dad’s cousins and their kids).
When you first move to a different country and consider the differences it’s always the simple things, and they often seem like hardships. Can I eat the food? Do I speak the language well enough? Can I handle that my 32 year old boyfriend lives with his parents (and grandparents)? Is it possible to flush the toilet paper? Where will I wash my clothes? But there are so many hidden beauties that you never know until you’re immersed – living in a country, doing the day-to-day. And sometimes the differences aren’t hardships, but things you wish you had in your own life and culture. Knowing your family – even if it’s just by stories told by others – is such a gift. And always a surprise to run into your long lost 17th cousin three-times removed on public transportation.

gracias, gracias

2010-06-24T10:24:00.000-07:00

The baby does not sleep. This is new for us because Samil is a champion sleeper. We tell Samil to lay down and in five minutes he’s out cold. Not Amely. She will scream and cry and carry on for hours to avoid sleeping, and then once we get her out, she wakes up 3-4 times!
Last night she somehow made her way into our bed. I think that she fell asleep with me and Amalio just didn’t put her in the crib before he lay down. So she was there all night. Tossing and turning and wanting to nurse. But not really wanting to nurse. Just kind of.
So, at 3:30 when Samil knocked on our door because he wanted water I hadn’t slept at all. I got him some water and let him sleep with Amalio, I went and threw Amely in the crib and lay down in his bed. I think she lasted 20 minutes in the crib. She doesn’t sleep well, but she also doesn’t like to sleep with us. So I should have known something wasn’t right. But I didn’t. I was tired and cranky. I put her in bed with me and went to sleep.
I was awoken by a stream of warm liquid streaming down the bed. Pee? No, friends. Amely had diarrhea and a broken diaper. How it broke is beyond me, but there it was. I got up hopped in the shower and came back for her. Cleaned her up and put her – diaper-less, stupid I know – on the floor waiting for the boys to get out of the bathroom where she proceeded to poop 3 more times in 3 seconds. In 3 different spots. Lovely.
Today is my first day back to work after a little vacation. Well, I’m going to meet a new student today and back to work for real tomorrow, but still. All vacation we did all right with the sleep and now, NOW, today we have the no-sleep, diarrhea issues.
Thank you, universe!

heat wave

2010-06-22T10:37:00.000-07:00

It’s still cold at night. And by cold I mean like 70 degrees. It’s chilly and with the windows open and a fan on, one might even be confused into thinking they don’t live in the tropics. Until they wake up and the heat, the heat that starts at 6 am, smacks them in the face. Just a friendly reminder. You live on a Caribbean island. And welcome friends! It’s summer.
The water in the faucet is lukewarm, but even still, it’s so hot that that tepid water feels like ice cubes falling on your head. No lie. And the second you turn off the flow, the sweat comes and the hope of getting completely dry is gone.
Dominican women – pelo bueno or not – wash their hair minimally. And it gets done in the salon. All washed and conditioned and put in rollers to sit beneath that stand-up dryer. Or blown out. It’s a little much for me, but I won’t deny my trips to the salon when I’m too lazy to blow-out my own hair. Except in the summer.
Because not only is the heat enough to fry and egg on the sidewalk, it’s quite possible that there’s enough stagnant humidity in the air to boil an egg there as well. So, even if the salon is air-conditioned and the heat from the blower isn’t able to melt what’s left of you, as soon as you step a foot outside the hair goes right back into that nasty bad-perm curly after you spent an hour and 15 bucks getting your hair did.
The good thing about Dominican summer is that it happens to coincide with hurricane season. And while I’m the last one wishing any more natural disasters on this island (or nearby), hurricane force winds and rain are the only thing that truly cool this place off for more than an hour at a time. Of course it’s a horrid catch-22 because rains here tend to debilitate people here the way snow does in, say, Philadelphia. So, rain brings sweet relief only to be enjoyed from your own private balcony. And, of course, a bad hair day.
Tonight might be the last cool night I get for another three months. If that’s the case, don’t go looking for me in the salon down the street, I’ll be sitting under a fan with my feet in a cool bucket of water. And with no place to go, who cares if my hair looks like I just came in from a torrential downpour and then stuck my finger in the socket.

2010-06-21T09:43:00.000-07:00

It sounds ridiculous, maybe, to talk about seasons in a tropical climate. But. There is a very distinct difference between the normal, good-natured warm of February-May and September-November and the ungodly, stifling, disgusting-ness that can be summer here.

It’s not heat so much as humidity in the summer – so staying out of the sun and under a fan only helps minimally. Most of our activity happens in the early morning and the evening to avoid over-exertion and swimming in pools of our own sweat. Alas. This post is about school, not the weather.

We don’t have a swimming pool – even though it’s on my “want” list for the roof I’m slowly grooming. I don’t want to buy one because my mom has one at her house for us; we just need to figure out how it’s getting here. Until then, though, we need water play. So, we take the old baby tubs up to the roof, fill them with water and a ton of toys and hide under the shade of some sheets hung over the clothes-lines (creativity is key in this heat!) I don’t have any pictures this week, but it is fun, I promise.

Samil has been working diligently on learning his shapes – especially triangles and squares. I traced some mini popsicle sticks (in an ABAB pattern) on a piece of paper and then let Samil match up the sticks with the shapes. After he did that, I pulled out the glue and let him stick them down.

I’ve been working on the kids’ bedroom since we moved in. I don’t have the luxury of kicking them out to paint it and we didn’t really want just a plain color anyway, so I’ve been stenciling some bright colored stars all over. Samil is in love with the stencils, so I pulled some out and let him have a go with water colors. I forgot that he uses way too much water and so the stencils only turned out half like the shapes they are. Once I get to the store to get some new poster paints, we’ll try again.

Samil is learning his letters, so we’ve been playing with all types of letters lately. His (and Amely’s) favorites are the letter magnets. We have metallic doors, so the magnets have moved from the fridge to the bedroom doors.

We had some visitors last Friday that we hope will be coming by weekly in the summer. They’re a little older than Samil, but they all play together well. We spent the afternoon chalking on the roof and “racing” different races (one-legged hop, elephant walk, rabbit jump, baby-crawl, etc…) and then we learned about Jonas and why we should obey God when he asks us to do something for him. We made a whale craft and called it a day. This week they came and we read Chicken Licken (in my hilarious last-minute translation into Spanish, ooops) and then we made construction paper chickens. You can definitely see the difference in level between the three!

What I learned this week: (I saw this on someone else’s tot-school and like the concept, but I completely don’t remember whose it was. If it’s yours, let me know so I can link to you!)
our new morning “schedule” has definitely improved my quality of life
I’m not a big fan of letting samil use glue by himself (the mess!)
Ceramic floors are great at keeping this cool, but horrible if you have kids because they get dirty so fast!

fresh air

2010-06-20T10:36:00.000-07:00

When you live in an apartment, you have to find space wherever you can. Our new place is considerably bigger than our last apartment and we have a huge balcony, so the kids play “outside” more than they could before. But if you’re stuck in your house all day, every day, you can go stir crazy. Especially if you’ve got two little ones underfoot.
The middle school I went to was in the middle of the city and because of that, there was limited space. It had a nice gym, but there was no ground-space for an outdoor playground. So we played on the roof. There’s a big fenced in basketball court and two smaller areas to hang out. I don’t know if there still is, but there was a greenhouse, too. Talk about using space!
There are very few playgrounds here – and even fewer quality playgrounds. Getting out is hard. We got to the park and play with balls and bubbles and we walk around the neighborhood, but that is all a lot of effort from me. And sometimes I just want to sit back and watch. You know, without the responsibility of blowing the bubbles or bouncing the ball.
Our last place didn’t have a door to the roof and part of it was open, with no wall. We couldn’t play there. It even scared me to take Samil with me to hang the laundry. But this place has a great roof. It’s completely enclosed with a pretty high wall and the stairs have a metal gate. The only little problem is that it is a mess! There is a huge pile of left-over construction dirt/sand/gravel and every time the wind blows or it rains it gets scattered all over.
It’s my pet project now, though, and we’ve been spending time on the roof almost every day. We’ve moved up some of our plants with the idea of getting more up there soon. I take up some water and toys and the kids play while I sweep what I can and collect bags of dirt. I pulled out the sidewalk chalk and they’ve been chalking up a storm.
The plan for the roof is a little garden area to give Samil and Amely the experience of growing things – and the responsibility of taking care of it (well , Samil for now). I want to put a little plastic pool and have the floor debris-free enough to take the tricycles up there, too.
It’s amazing how creative we get with space when it’s limited. I hope my project turns out and that the kids like being outside more!