this kid.

when it rains, it pours.

 

we've been having some issues with the transmission in our car - we got it fixed awhile back, but it seems like we'll need to replace it. and of course, because when something important breaks, something else even more important goes. what is that, like murphy's law?

 

whatever can go wrong, will.

 

so, yesterday (or two days ago... i can't count) i came home for lunch to find that the refrigerator was turned off. i asked nelfy and she said she thought i had turned it off to defrost. so, we unplugged it and plugged it back in. nothing. turned the knobs. nothing.

 

luckily i hadn't food shopped this week and there wasn't much perishable food in there.
but, we did need to go to the store, and i wasn't really sure what to do. i was kind of hoping for a miracle refrigerator-repair. it didn't happen.

 

but, when we left the house, there was a flier for some appliance store stuck in the gate. samil was delighted as he loves mail. jewel quick grabbed the flier and wrote samil's name on it. you cannot even begin to imagine the happiness. he looked at it, talked about it, looked at it some more. and then showed it to people.

 

first, he showed it to our neighbor and told her that because our fridge is broken, he was going to save his money and buy a new one. i didn't really pay attention to his commentary until he told us that he was going to clean the backyard and the house and help papi and mami so he could get money. and once he has the money, he's going to buy a new nevera (which he pronounce NAH-vare-Ah instead of NAY-VARE-AH) because he really likes to drink cold water.

 

and if the fridge is broken, he can't drink cold water!

it isn't even so much that he wants to buy the fridge that tugs at my heart strings. it's that somewhere along the line, he's picked up that he needs to work pretty hard to get things. and that money doesn't just show up. of course, he has no concept of who does the paying, and that us giving him money for working isn't really helping to pay for a new fridge. but, he's told us a few times that he needs to work really hard so that he can earn money to buy the fridge.

 

this morning, he helped me to wash down the back sidewalk and to collect all of the dirty clothes. he filled up the dominican-style washing machine (the one in the picture) and was even really nice to his sister. and he'll say "i've got a lot more to do if i'm going to get enough for the nevera."

 

he was even a little disappointed when i told him that the repair guys were coming this morning. until i told him that the "repair guys" are his "friends" amaury and danny (who were amalio's students the very first year he was a teacher at his current school EIGHT YEARS AGO!) and now he's really excited to "help the guys."

 

working the earth

Our new place has a humongous back (and side and front) yard ready and waiting to be transformed into paradise garden. we got this place because it was finally the compromise we could live with - amalio's huge backyard and me not living in a tin-roof hut. (the house is pretty nice, too, but the yard is the crowning glory).

the day after we moved, amalio already had our potted plants in the ground, watered and was running to the nursery to get more. i was, less happily, surrounded by a hundred boxes wondering when in the world i'd ever even make a dent in the unpacking.

in an attempt to actually contribute to the backyard, i bought a bag of soil and had the kids plant tomato and pepper seeds. i forgot that we have chickens. 

no tomatoes and no peppers, but the kids had fun. 

(amalio has since partitioned off a part of the yard for vegetable plants where chicken-chicken, henry and mickey can't get to them)

we also let susan spray paint. i'm sorry if she turns into a delinquent.

the yard is taking shape - it needs a lot of work still, but once it's "see-able" i'll post some before and after pictures here!

"Feminicide"

something horrible is happening in the dominican republic. in the first six months of 2012, 98 women were killed. not in accidents, not of old age. killed by the men who "love" them. fathers, boyfriends, husbands, exes.

there are so many things that i could say about this tragedy. but it's all been said. it's all been talked about too much.

and once it had been talked about until one would think there was nothing left to be said - someone, somewhere decided that instead of spending money on prevention programs, education and support, they'd plan a day of remembrance to the "fallen women."

unaffected women all over the country donned a black ribbon for the day and talked about how progressive they were for acknowledging a problem, for one day, that affects far too many of their latina sisters. meanwhile, all the women who really are affected by family violence, stayed at home with their jealous, machista husbands and got beat.

progress.

the country did, however, implement a hotline for abused women. i believe it's free and that it operates 24 hours a day. and it's a step in the right direction. it's more than the lip-service given so frequently that nobody hears it anymore.

no more blood.

now, we just need to work together to teach women that they are worth more than they think. to teach women that it's not their fault when someone hits them, that the man hitting them is guilty, not them.

one of my pregnant students broke down and told me that her boyfriend has been beating her since they moved in together, and when i cried with her and told her she didn't deserve that, that she's worth more than a punching bag, she told me that nobody had ever told her "it's not your fault." that everyone had always asked "what did you do to provoke him?"

as long as women continue to be told that they are not valuable, and men are taught to believe that they are the rulers of everything, we'll have the same problem. more women will be beaten, bruised, mistreated and killed.

Feminicide: woman murdered by a man who considered her
property.

personally, i've been convicted over and over again to raise samil to be a man. a real man. with values. who cherishes and adores women - who treats them well - and never believes a woman deserves violence. a man who loves god and wants to be like jesus. a man who knows that what makes us different than animals is our consciousness and ability to make decisions and that saying "i'm a man, i can't control myself" is not an excuse for anything.
and the more women who commit to raising little men to be men and not animals, the better the future will look. actions, friends, speak way louder than words. take your future back, and give it to your kids.

samil's vacation

samil left on saturday to visit his grandpop. francisco lives the rural life - takes care of cows and chickens and ... well, mostly he is samil's hero. for a little boy who lives to milk cows and take rides on the motorbike, life in the campo is the best thing since sliced bread.

there are some animals near us - we don't live completely in the city, there are some animals - and a fair amount of open spaces, but it's not the same. 

so, since april, samil's been begging to go stay with papa vaca. i wasn't so sure, so i kept my mouth shut. amalio, however, stuck his foot in it and told samil that once school was over he could go. and so, on wednesday, when we picked up the sixteen page report card (seriously? he wipes his butt and says please and thank you, that's all i need to know), samil started asking when he could come.

"mami, put your hands up next to my hands. that's how many days i'm going to stay with papa."

honestly, i figured he would last two days and come home with amalio. 

nope.

he's still there. and when we ask he says, "mami, put your hands up. i have my hands up but take away three fingers. that's how many days are left."

"do you know how many days that is?"

"mucho!"

what's been going on?

 i feel like i keep writing "i'll be back soon" - seriously. annoying, right?

it's just that we haven't had an internet connection and, more importantly, i hate making blog posts with no real pictures. and my camera is on the blitz - and by camera i mean my cell phone with flash camera (so if you've called and i haven't answered... forgive me please - it's going to the shop soon enough).

the past few weeks have been a whirlwind of activity. i was on semester break at the university and i think i tried to fit every thing i possibly could into those blissful, work-free weeks. i took the kids to the campo to visit their grandpop and cousins the first weekend.

i love the campo for so many reasons - it's close to the beach (we didn't go), it's cooler than the city (it wasn't) and i don't really have to watch my kids (amely just about busted open her forehead), so the following weekend we went back - this time with friends, and a car (well, two). we hit one of my favorite beaches - a river/beach with just-right waves and spent time taking care of cows and reading and playing dominoes.

samil had a presentation at school - it was cute, but the whole process set my blood boiling a few times. the thing was delayed three times and in the end it started an hour later than stated. i know i should be used to this by now, and thankfully i was on vacation (or would have missed out on three days of work since not only was the activity postponed, but they didn't bother to inform until the actual days of the event). samil was a tree. and if you judge only by this picture, not a happy tree. but he took part in the english portion of the activity as well and told everyone his favorite "aminal" is a zebra, and neighed like a horse. too cute.

on the last weeked of my vacation, i turned 30. that's right, people the big 3-0. instead of dreading it, i celebrated (and am still celebrating!) we used my new grill (with a few hitches - it went out in the middle and we had to relight it) and had a barbecue (american style) complete with bachata and merengue dancing (dominican style). we, as a family, have been so blessed with good friends who share in the good and the bad with us - and we're all just as mixed and matched as any UN meeting :) (i do love diversity).

now, i'm back to work - working on some new projects and trying to get everything done and still enjoy it. i've been walking in the mornings again - and after a long time without any real exercise, i feel good. i don't know why i stopped, but it's back in the routine now and i'm feeling refreshed.

so, i've taken over the "leadership" of a school - working in collaboration with two amazing people i've known for so long (and am learning that i never really knew) to bring quality education in a faith-based environment to one of the most marginalized communities in santiago. i'm working with a friend to create job opportunities for impoverished women (more on that to come) and i've just finished a quickie (4 class) course on pregnancy and childbirth in our community. i'll be offering a more extensive course for pregnant teenagers starting june 9. i was blessed by a wonderful woman, tracy, with all the books i needed to get started, i've been blessed.

more is happening, but i just hope to get back on here on a more regular basis. i hope all you faithful (5) readers are content and healthy!

slow down.

stations of the cross - local catholics have the stations set
up throughout the neighborhood - and rain or shine, celebrate the
real reason for Holy Week.

university students in the dominican republic study all year round - it still takes them four years to graduate and they take an insane amount of credits (i still haven't figured it all out.... but i'm sure it has to do with them studying for careers and not liberal arts...)

unfortunately this means no spring break, no two-month long vacation in the summer and minimal days for christmas. i can't complain too much, though, we get a few weeks in april, a few in august and about three in december.

i've been more tired lately (i blame the ridiculous schedule i had these past three months, but it could be the amount of extra-curriculars i've been part of, too) and so when i realized that for holy week, we'd only get two days, i  was frustrated.

easter breakfast group

i had a list of things to do six-miles long and two vacay days were just not enough. and my mom was visiting us that week, and i'd be stuck in class - meaning no time for the beach.

it worked out. the kids loved having granma around, and i just went to school and did what i had to do. my mom and i visited the hospital and handed out a ton of new baby stuff (donated through the midwives for DR) and i met some important people that i need to know in order to move around the hospital a little more freely. we had breakfast with my students and just hung out.

my house was a mess by thursday and the list was still six miles long (and if you added all of the dishes in the sink, it went to seven-miles long). but i had decided i needed a break.

science experiments with granma

on friday, we slept all.day.long and on saturday, too. in fact, i took a four hour nap today as well. i'm kind of behind in things that wanted to be done, but they'll get there. the necessities were taken care of - the kids were fed and played with and cared for (and other than amely's split lip this morning, we were injury free).

sometimes it's just more important to take it slow than race through life. spend time with people we love and not worry about that list of things we need to do - because usually it's not urgent.


this week i've got a full schedule, but i'm going into it fully rested and ready to take on the world.

gettin' nerdy.

samil goes to school. and while i don't think that there is anything decidedly wrong about his school - and most preschools in this country - i don't think there's anything right either. i mean, he's learned 5 letter (the vowels) and can count to ten in spanish. sometimes he can tell me about things he learned in school - usually having to do with patriotism or singing songs - but mostly, he's learned what he's learned here, at home.

i would say something like "it's not that the educational system in the US is better persay..." but that would be a lie. because the dominican republic ranks last for education in the caribbean and south america (and by default, north america as well). so, while i'm hyper-aware of the budget cutting and program slashing that is going on in the states, believe me, it is nothing compared to the lack of budget that is even given to education here.

all that said. we, as a family, believe that education is what you make of it - amalio went to a rural school that until recently had two classrooms for grades 1-5, no running water for the bathroom and books so outdated, his grandparents might have used them (had they gone to school), and now is finishing his master's thesis.


we read and create and play.

this semester has been rough for me. i know i've written about being frustrated and stressed at work - and despite the best of intentions, it transferred into our home education. i have been tired and cranky and just wanting to veg out in front of the tv when i got home from work. and amalio's working on that thesis. disastrous for any kind of planning.

so, now that the semester is winding it's way down and i'm way less stressed, we've been on science overload here. we've been doing experiments every day, art projects and all the good stuff. this past week, we mixed colors.

milk , soap and food coloring mixing (milk repels dish soap - add some food coloring and you can see the reaction, it makes the colors "dance". mixing colored water and filling out a chart and, the kids' favorite, vinegar and baking soda surprise mixing - i put the food coloring on the spoons under the baking soda, so they didn't know what colors would happen until they mixed it all up - and watched it "explode".

this is the way we milk a cow.

last weekend, the dominican republic celebrated their independence (from haiti, i think), and since independence is a pretty big deal, we got a three day weekend. while most of the country flocked to carnaval celebrations, we piled into a van with some friends and headed to the campo to visit amalio's dad and hit the beach.
samil's been begging to see his "papa" for awhile now, but since he lives so far away and we're not montados in our own car, it's hard unless there are a significant amount of "no school days." luckily, we got a ride this time around.
samil loves his papa, but really what he loves is taking care of the vacas, which he'll classify for you as mommy cows, toros and becerritos - why he doesn't know the word for a heifer in spanish is beyond me - his only association with farm animals is most definitely not in english.
amely likes animals - and she's definitely more daring around them, grabbing chihuahuas and carrying cats - but she also likes to sleep in (mostly because she doesn't sleep at night), so she never really had experienced the milking process before this weekend. she got up early with her brother, and waited patiently (because they were awake before the farmer!) for papa to get back with the cows.
samil has gone from passive observer to gate-keeper for the calves. he opens and closes the door when papa tells him to. he also gets to walk the cows to pasture which he thinks is pretty cool, especially since papa let him take the calves all by himself - he ran them up the hill yelling "go baby cows, run, run, fast!" and was pretty concerned when he couldn't get the fence closed - he doesn't realize how dumb cows are yet... i mean what other animal lets a four-year old herd them?

amely loves the milk donkey - but she didn't get to see him this visit - in fact, it was raining so hard, i didn't even hear him pull up, and caught this picture of him leaving!

made ya look.

have i mentioned lately how much i adore these children?

reason #243

this may sound super simple to some, but one of the many reasons that i love raising my kids in this country is that they don't take things for granted. (this is not a social commentary, it's about my family and how we work... i know there are kids in the states who don't take everything for granted and are grateful for simple wonders. we have worked hard and intentionally to try to instill certain things in our kids, and that's what's important to us.)

we don't frequent too many places with blow-driers in the bathrooms, but one of the supermarkets has one of the new, high-speed/low-heat models. o.m.g.

the kids went crazy and stood under that thing for e.v.e.r. 

i love that they appreciate those small things because they are not bombarded by it all.the.time.

the mother maria.

i've been so busy with work and work... and some projects i've been working on, that it's been hard to get out with the kids and just spend some time together. i mean, we spend time together, but at home or close to it.
and i really hate running errands with both of them. i know that sounds like bad-mommy-syndrome, but public transportation here is crazy and nothing is really family friendly.

but, i packed these beauties up last weekend and headed to run around. bank, tailors, supermarket, copy-shop. we left a bit too early and were stuck wandering the streets of santiago when we came across this jem - a park dedicated to christopher columbus, complete with iron-worked replicas of the three ships.
we bought some orange slices and an apple and ran around the park for awhile. we talked about columbus and talked to some blind people who were meeting in the park that morning. he proudly told them the names of columbus' ships - the nina, pinta and santa maria. of course they were impressed with these small children who knew the names of columbus' ships, and even more impressed by amely's sharing nature (she gave away most of her candy... mostly because she will not take no for an answer)

i was proud just because they're such good kids. and samil is sucking up information like a sponge.

in fact, just yesterday samil asked me if i remembered going to see the pipa, inta and the mother maria!

footloose.

these kids are dancing maniacs.

samil's got the b-boy moves going on - he's not even scared of the ceramic floors, trying out headstands and flip moves (while i yell at him to be careful, that's amely's head!)

amely cannot hear music without wiggling her hips. if there are dancers on tv, she stops, observes and then imitates. out.of.control.

i took this video a few weeks ago, their moves have improved immensely since then, but it'll probably make you smile.

where i've been.

i've been mia for awhile. sorry about that.

things have been moving and shaking and changing and then going right back to where they were. two steps forward, one back.

it's a time of transition down here. samil will start pre-school in the fall, which for normal people would be nothing... but here it means changing tons of things. my job, the biggest. see, i work in the afternoons - from 3 til around 7. i get home, usually, close to 8pm. but samil is going to study in the morning.

who had kids so they'd never see them? not me.

so. new job. i looked at private schools in mono- and bi- lingual settings. i looked at language institutes. i even looked into starting a service that offers english classes to bigger companies. i got my heart set on one school - a great school with great pay. i interviewed. i demo-taught. i interviewed again. and again. and i got frustrated.

know how God puts things to us right when we need it?
after the one millionth interview, i was sure i had the job. then i had the millionth and one, got frustrated and took my resume elsewhere. c'mon, who makes job candidates run around like that? really it was only 4 separate meetings, but it seemed there was always something more. come bring us this, come talk to me about that. and a new something-else everytime i went! (in fact, i taught their SAT math class for a few weeks and after the class was over they asked me to take a competency test, just so they could have it on file! the class was finished, i had been paid. really? a test that you give to people applying for jobs? ridiculous).

i had been set on this school. but. i can't handle the run around.
so, when I got a call from the best (paying) university in santiago, i ironed my only set of business cas. clothes and headed out. i was offered the job on the spot (what a relief after the craziness of that school!) and i start may 11.

i think there are some things to iron out still, like my hours (for the summer, i'll still be teaching in the PM, but once school starts in August, i'll be able to name my own), but i'm super excited.

we begin the transition from a stay-at-home family to a pre-school bound one! amely will still stay with the nanny and, now, we'll be able to maximize our time, and actually have more to spend together!

caring boy.

This picture is pretty typical samil. see the looks on the girls' faces? like "what is this kid doing!?"
he loves his sister with a passion. and most girls littler than him.

on saturday, he went to the university with his dad and when a lady bought him a bag of chips, he insisted (and by insisted, i mean threw a tantrum) because "where are amely's chips?"
yesterday, a friend came by to see him and brought a lollipop. before he even accepted his, he made sure there was one for his sister.

yesterday, samil had a little surgery. in and out (because i don't want to re-tell the craziness of the day, let's just assume that the healthcare system here works well). and luckily he's got my genes, because he hasn't cried or whined more than necessary (we all know how some guys get when they're sick).

this morning, he cried a little when he peed, asked for some ice... and then.
went back in the bathroom to help amely flush her "pees" down the toilet.
do i have a selfless kid or what?

(oh and amely is potty training herself, if she keeps at it i won't have to do any work at all... score.)

it's cold out there.

i'm not really in the holiday mood. i've got most of the shopping done, the tree is up and lights are hung. and it's really cold.

really, really cold.

today i'm heading to rice's market (an outdoor flea market) with a friend and the kids. in santiago, we go to outdoor fruit markets and even the "pulga" with the kids. the only security precaution is to put on sneakers instead of sandals because the floors are nasty.

i got the kids ready here - samil has on fleece lined overalls, socks to his knees, and two shirts. amely is wearing tights, jeans and leg warmers, a long sleeved onsie and a sweater. i'll bundle them in their winter coats with hats and gloves.

in all, it'll take a good twenty minutes just to dres in winter clothes.
i don't think i was made for this kind of parenting.

Dear Santa.

Samil does not like Santa Claus. I mean, we don't really do the Santa thing - I have their picture taken every year, and we ask Samil what he wants Santa comes to bring - but when push comes to shove, I don't think he gets it (what three year old does?) and he probably won't. It's not part of Dominican culture (Baby Jesus and the Three Wise Men bring gifts) and so he's not immersed in that santa, santa, santa custom.

Every year since Samil was a baby, we've taken him to get his picture done. we go to the mall, do some shopping, ride the carousel and see the old man. when he was three months old, samil was fine. 15 months old - he screamed. last year, screamed. this year, we talked about it before we went and he told me he wasn't going to cry.

he didn't cry, but look at the miserable face! amely did the crying for him and tried to squirm out of santa's arms before they snapped the picture. on her defense, though, she was fine for the first few minutes, but waiting for samil made her antsy. this is the best shot they got.

i think we're going to have a book of hilarious santa pictures when they grow up if we keep going this way!

work hard for the money.

samil gets kind of upset when someone leaves for work. it's not inconsolable emotion, but he gets worried, i think.

so, we've started telling him we have to go to work to make money. because, really, what 3 year old doesn't understand money?

yesterday morning he called me at work.

"mami, donde estas?" (where you at, momma)
"at work"
"trabajando for money?" (working for money?)
"yes."
"traime chicle, mami" (bring me some gum).

then my dad called the house and samil asked him, too, where he was. he was at work, so samil wanted to know how much money he was making.

guess he's looking for how many christmas presents he'll be getting.

wordless wednesday.

amely's first painting .

this summer has been lax on the educational/crafty/creative activities around these parts. it's either been raining something fierce (and chilly) or disgustingly hot. two types of days that warrant playing inside (either cuddlin' up or sittin' under a fan). besides, we've been from here to there and there to here more than normal and mostly just soaking up our "vacation" time.

it's time, though, to get back into routine - and now that the house is in order (thanks to some cheapy purchases to organize the kids' closet and babysitter dan to keep the kids out of my hair) and things are organized enough to get to, we're trying to get back in the swing of things.

i pulled out some paints the other day, made a pallet out of a floppy plastic cutting board, covered the little table and threw down some paint brushes. after taking off the kids shirts (i hate laundry), i let them go.

amely had never painted before (that's why there's more pictures of her than samil, sorry kid). she preferred to use her hands instead of the brush and to paint her belly rather than the paper. oh well. samil used some letter stamps to make his name which he used like twice before switching back to the brushes.

the stamps are made out of cardboard and yarn. i made a chain with the yarn and hot glued it to the cardboard in the shape of letters. make sure you make your letters in reverse, though, because they are mirror images.

amely prefers finger painting.

and painting herself.

samil loves to paint! (you can kind of see his name on this one)these are the stamps we used.

yay! paint!

trouble with a capital T

we've spent a fair bit of time up in the campo this summer with my in-laws. it's not something i love to do, but samil does. of course his obsession with cows and other farm animals makes it the most desirable place for him to be but he also loves spending time with his cousins.

sujeidys lives with my father-in-law, and is the only cousin to spend any prolonged period of time with us in santiago (a week in january, but hopefully longer soon). these two are sweet now, but we smell trouble in the future.

what? are you talking to me?

sweet suje (soo-hay) is such a darling girl.

samil played with this palm branch for h.o.u.r.s.

they turned them into horses and ran around like "vaqueros" (cowboys) all afternoon. except poor samil kept forgetting it was a horse (which he calls "cai-yas" (for caballo in spanish) and was running around making mooooooo sounds.