no longer an illegal.

on morning i began the final phase of my long journey to dominican citizenship.

it's been a road, let me tell you, of ups and downs and waiting. lots of waiting. and frustration and happiness and hope.

 

i've dragged (drug?) my feet on this final step (no pun intended) for many reasons. mostly, i was scared that, because this process had been so (relatively) cheap so far, it was going to cost me an arm and a leg. there are always hidden fees. or a bribe. or some ridiculous trick at the end.

 

when i was informed that all government service fees would be increased beginning on february first, i jumped in the car and flew to the junta. because if it was an arm and a leg before, it would cost my first born child after friday. of course, in true dominican fashion, the one employee capable of doing my process doesn't work on mondays. could i please return on tuesday at two?

 

tuesdays in the pm don't work for me. but i'll be by on wednesday morning, k?

 

Wednesday rolls around, and, yes!, man-child is available. even better? he's got my paper already finished. except it's got a mistake and now we need to wait for his boss to authorize the change. no sweat, he and his cubicle mate were super nice and i got the low down on all the crazies that visit: mothers who are "looking for" their kids' birth certificates but don't know when they were born; a man wanting to know if his wife divorced him without his knowledge; the grandmother who came in to declare her 12 year old grandchild because the mother just never bothered to do it.

 

once the boss-man signed off on the letter change, i was sent to the printer to collect my new birth certificate and then i was sent outside to wait in a line. when i got to the counter, i was told i was missing our original marriage certificate. please wait in that line over there. nine people later i was given a fake certificate and sent to another line where i'd get the real thing and pay (more money).

 

i then re-waited the original line, was given permission to proceed and sent to the final step: cedulacion. i waited awhile, then was sent to the data entry point where a very nice lady took my information even though it was already on her screen and written on a piece of paper on her desk, but, whatever. i then fingerprinted and electronically signed. she sent me to the printer to pick up my own piece of paper, gave me a pen to sign and sent me to her boss.

 

who then proceeded to argue that this poor lady did the wrong process. that i wasn't possibly a new dominican citizen, and how dare she have entered all of that information without permission. and, no! you cannot vote in our country, that is reserved for people who pay taxes! how dare you, american girl!, assume that you get a real id card.

 

she was obviously having a bad day. so i headed back to my new friend at the front of the building who so graciously told me stories just a few hours before. crossing my fingers for grace, he was free! and he marched himself back to crazy-boss-lady to explain, after telling his mommy that he loves her and blowing her kisses no lie, that i was in fact a new citizen. and no, my parents aren't dominican. and yes, sometimes it's not a horrible thing to live here.

 

and just when i thought we were finished, she printed out this gem complete with seventeen last names and told me i'd be ready to go.... in a month. the government doesn't have any plastic to actually print the id cards, so i'll head back on february 28 and finally, finally be eligible for direct deposit (most important!) and medical insurance.

 

i am planning to write a blog post summarizing the whole process, so if you're interested, stay tuned!

minutes.

it's 8:08am. i'm sitting on my couch, trying to enjoy these few minutes before running out the door. for the past three weeks, i've been on the go almost non-stop. due to some funny division in our contracts, this semester is divided into 4 payments instead of 3, which means teaching two classes at the uni just doesn't cover the budget. so, i took four classes, because that would be fun.

i really do love teaching at the university level. but i didn't consider that my schedule would be so diverse (three {very} different levels) or that public transportation would be such a pain at 5:45pm, and so i'm feeling bogged down.

before the semester started, i made a plan - it included trying to streamline mornings (organizing school uniforms, packing lunches at night, homework checks) and schedule nights with alternating exercise and reading and math practice for the kids. and downtime. because by the end of the day, i just want to sit down and pass out. but that's not so healthy, i think. so, i worked jeopardy and househunters international. i'm in bed by 9:30 almost every single night.

three weeks in, i jumped at the opportunity to do some not-so-desirable running around for the ministry in order to get this 45 minutes of downtime before heading into school and doing everything else that's on the list for today. and in it, i realized, for maybe the millionth time, that a huge paycheck is not worth missing out on family and the kids and the day-to-day.

so, i'm counting down the weeks to the end of the semester - just 12 more to go!

why we're here.

learning the get-to-know-you dance here is a lot like learning the merengue dance. after eight years i've mastered neither. the difference? i like to dance merengue.

the dance changes steps ever so slightly depending on who you're dancing with - dominican or ex-pat? sometimes you get to lead - and thus avoid the awkwardness of the personal probing, but sometimes you follow and have to answer all those questions and avoid stepping on toes.

i'm melanie. no, i'm not dominican. neither are my parents. or my grandparent. why thank you, i've worked very hard to speak spanish well. yes, i know i have an accent... and i always will, thankyouverymuch. no, my husband doesn't have residency and there are tons of reasons why we live here. no, i don't think we need to explain our reasoning to you, complete stranger.

but. in the spirit of disclosure, i'll let you, complete-internet-strangers, a look into why we've decided to live here.

it is always warm.
i know that sounds like a terrible reason to live somewhere. but after living through northeastern us winters and braving a few chicago cold-fronts, i was done. and it goes to 60 degrees here and amalio's in sweaters and wool socks. can you imagine if he was faced with constant 20 degree temperatures? he might die. in fact, samil tells him frequently that he can't go to philadelphia because he doesn't have a coat. papi won't like the cold.

the people are also warm.
there is no hospitality quite the equal of dominican hospitality. you can enter a house, completely unannounced and within minutes, food and drink appears. should we cook for you? are you sure crackers are enough? coffee? when samil was born, one of amalio's coworkers slept on a chair in the hospital so my mom wouldn't have to. if you're sick, people will bring you food. sometimes people show up to make a sancocho, just because. and while this warmth is not always comfortable, it is immensely appreciated more often than not.

we know our neighbors.
by name. and things about them. in fact, two of my closest relationships here were/are with neighbors. our kids play together. i have neighbors that i know i could leave my kids with in an emergency, ask for sugar (but not salt, apparently only witches ask for salt) or, as has often happened when the gas tank runs out mid-meal, go to with my pots of rice and plantains to finish cooking. once, our chicken - our beautiful, expensive, black and white hen, Michael - got out and our neighbor brought him back to us. and while everyone has bad neighbors (we've had our share - from dirty, messy to laundry-theivin'), we've been blessed with enough good to outweigh the annoying.

we are useful.
 when we first decided to marry, we really discussed where to live. by the end of my first year, i was ready to move back to the states and forget about this place. but, when we weighed the options, dr won. why? because here we have the opportunity to do good things without all of the red-tape that hinders good things in the us. my friend rebecca calls this being a good human resource. we are passionate about education and the future generations, and have so many more opportunities here to serve.

professionally, we are awesome.
it's not true for all people. in fact, most people in this country can barely survive. but we, as a family, have always had plenty of opportunities for success. and the option of flexibility. this school year is the first i've worked "full time" since 2006. and last semester, i was free two afternoons a week with weekends completely to myself. there is opportunity for us to grow here, and while i might have that opportunity in the states, it would be much harder for amalio, whose english is minimal and lack of connections would make it difficult to find a job in his area. here, he's the academic coordinator of a school with a masters.

our kids get more of us.
because we don't have to work back-breaking jobs just to make ends meet, and i am usually free a few afternoons in the week, we actually get to spend time with our children. which is excellent because the education here is bad (downside to living here), and having that job flexibility helps us to even that imbalance out. granted, i haven't been a great "schooler" these past few months of adjustment to the new job, the kids get us way more than they'll appreciate when they're teenagers.

there are downsides to living here - things are disorganized, everything runs late, traffic is insane and the educational system is dismal. but, it balances out. most of the time. we don't really know what the future holds. who does? and in a few years, we might decide to relocate. but we're not thinking that far ahead. looking forward to the future takes away from today.

stefie gets a man - dominican style

i think the spirit of girlinthedr has gotten a bit fierce lately. don't worry, i'm not really this fierce in real life - sassy, maybe...

 

while shopping for christmas, asia and i ran into stefie - you'll remember stefie from my rant against c-sections. you may have even wondered how stefie got herself knocked up in the first place.

stefie, see, either really liked britney spears in the late 1990s or went to catholic school. either way, that skirt is way too short for school - she was probably out trolling around after class.

stefie apparently found a something with that rolled up skirt and knee-high socks and scored herself a date to prom. if you look really closely, you'll notice she's not wearing a bra... and her nipples, had barbies been given nipples, would be showing. leave a little to the imagination, stefie!

 

 this is one lucky night for stefie. after prom she hurried out to get ready in her "sleeping room" to seal the deal!

 

stefie then becomes pregnant - has a c-section and what we didn't get pictures of were the twins that came after little baby-in-the-belly stefie.

powerful women.

you've heard of this, right? PODEROSA MUJER is a project that has been in the works since last december. it couples a passion for the women of the community of cienfuegos, santiago and a need for education and empowerment programs.
the idea is to find un or underemployed moms and help them create beautiful things out of repurposed or recycled materials - sell those beautiful things - and then create programs that those very same women think are necessary.
why women? an african proverb tells us if you educate a man, you educate just one person, but if you educate a woman, you educate a nation. i'm a pretty firm believer that when women are empowered, the world changes. when women are taught that they are valuable, precious and powerful, they then in turn raise up children who know that they are valuable, precious and powerful.

 

rolled beads before they've been painted

right now, PODEROSA MUJER is the "unofficial sponsor" of the pre-natal classes we offer at FUTURO LLENO DE ESPERANZA and we hope to support some literacy classes in the near future. we offer prenatal vitamins and lactation support to women in the community (whether they come to classes or not) and, of course, i will spoil your baby with hugs and kisses whenever you want.

 

it's difficult to sell our goods - which right now consists of rolled-paper-bead jewelry, and re-purposed glass pendants - because we're not in the states and what we sell here is minimal (different styles-sense, i guess).

 

so i'm appealing to you, blog readers, to help some sisters out. we've got a number of pieces available in the US right now that can be shipped out, and quite a number more waiting for a ride to philadelphia (the mail service here is a nightmare!) we accept paypal, personal checks and cash.

 

our jewels are also available in-country for mission teams who are looking for some unique souvenirs. 25% of the profit will go right back to your organization like a mini-fund raiser, and your visitors and short term missionaries will be able to support local ministries, local people AND get something way nicer than a coconut bra or a bottle opener with the DR flag.

please forgive the not-so-great quality of these pictures - they were taken with an android phone as the camera's battery is dead. all rolled  beads are coated with resin to make them a bit more water resistant - but they are paper, so we don't recommend bathing with the jewelry on!
 if you're interested in any of the pieces seen here, you can email us at melanie512@gmail.com with the number of the piece, and where to send it. paypal payments can be made through the button on the sidebar of this blog, checks and/or cash will be discussed through email.

 

 



beads made from green, cardboard
box, black accent beads. double
strand, clasp-style closing. #001: $10 USD

beads made from yellow, cardboard box, white accent
beads. double, elastic strand. #002: $9 USD

1 inch colorful cardboard bead earring. #003: $5USD

pink, paper-bead necklace with pink and black
accent beads. clasp-style closing. #004: $14USD

 



colorful, paper-bead necklace with clear colored accent beads. clasp-style closing. #005: $14USD

black, paper-bead Anglican Prayer-beads* with black, glass accent beads.
#006: $20USD 

1 inch, purple-toned beads rolled from cardboard. #007: $5USD

green toned, beads rolled from cardboard with wooden accent beads.
elastic style strand. #008: $8USD

long, green paper-rolled beads with black and white accent beads. triple strand,
clasp-style closing. #009: $12USD

purple beads rolled from cardboard and painted with a glittery paint,
white accent beads. triple strand, clasp-style closing. #010: $12USD

simple, purple colored beads rolled from cardboard with white accent
beads. elastic style strand. #011: $8 USD

1 inch, purple toned-bead earring. #012: $5USD

natural seed, chunky bracelet. (seeds found on La Entrada Beach, Nagua, Dominican Republic).
thick elastic strand. #013: $15USD

don't forget to like us on facebook!

*Anglican prayer beads, also known as the Anglican rosary or Christian prayer beads, are a loop of strung beads which Anglicans, as well as Christians of other denominations, use to order their prayer. This particular way of using prayer beads was developed in the mid-1980s by Episcopalians in the United States participating in a study group dealing with methods of prayer - learn more here

my c-section soap box.

i'm a little passionate about birth. it's true. you, faithful blog readers, haven't heard about it in awhile because i've been so over-busy and in crazy-transition that i really haven't had time to be passionate about much of anything. but, i'm reading and researching and trying to get together some "stuff" for our community this new year.

my first pre-natal class was a huge success - the second, just as good. the third was a bust. i tried to bite off more than i could chew and, because of it, didn't do the promotion it needed, nor did i walk the community like i should have. but, that's the past, and i'm re-newed and ready to go at it again.

my passion for teaching women about their pregntant bodies and the precious life they carry has not waned. in fact, it's is sparked every time i meet a pregnant girl (most of the pregnant women i come across in my line of work are teenagers). it's rekindled every time i meet a woman with an infected c-section wound, a woman told she just absolutely should not breastfeed, a woman who has no idea how birth works.

both of my kids were delivered through c-sections. i didn't know any better, and while i fought for "natural" birth, i was shot down, intimidated and made to feel worthless at every turn. from month five of my first pregnancy, i was told that i would most-likely need a cesarean, and don't worry, most women here do it. luckily, we had insurance that covered the surgery, but most women don't. and are led into birth believing that their bodies cannot handle natural, vaginal birth and, had they been rich, they'd be having this child the right way. but, they're not rich, and so they're doing it the wrong way, and birth, when you don't know what to expect and don't believe in yourself, can be traumatic.

instead of raising up girls to know that they are powerful (fearfully and wonderfully made, even) creatures, created with this very process in mind, we are raising them up to believe that their bodies are worth nothing, that they cannot handle this amazing thing for which their body was designed. and it starts young.

i'm sure you can imagine my disgust when, while shopping for christmas gifts, asia and i found this barbie-type (steffie, to be exact) who is pregnant. she looks like a normal doll, with a big belly, but when we flipped the box over - we found this.

the little girl playing with steffie just pops off steffie's belly and pulls baby out. forget about pushing a kid out, it's as easy as making a hole and pulling! excellent! from an early age, we teach these beauties that it's as easy as a major surgery to have a baby.

i know that c-sections often save lives, prevent problems (and the transmission of HIV from mother to child), but in a country with over 60% cesarean births (most in private clinics), it enrages me that this is what we're presenting to our children (not to mention the way-too-many pregnant teenagers).

 

 

next pre-natal class starts in cienfuegos at the end of january. if you're interested in supporting us, send me an email @ melanie512(@)gmail(.)com

modern chastity belts?

over christmas break, i had the pleasure of helping a friend shop for christmas gifts for a little guy who'd never had "santa" before. (you can read their story here, and you can look at the shopping, and how it turned out). it was nice, i had been in a rut, and needed some cheer to get myself out of it.

what's a better way out of a rut than retail therapy?

we picked up a lot of great toys in the toy store and then headed to a local department store to look for some clothes. confession. i don't shop for clothes here. the quality is usually really poor, and the prices can be extreme. i count on hand-me-downs from kind strangers and good friends, and christmas and birthday gifts to clothe myself and my children. when i travel to the states, i pick up what we need.

i am always shocked when i go to the store. and it's never the same thing. it's been boobies, and prosthetic male-privates, and in an upcoming post some risque barbie-type dolls.

shoplifting is difficult here. you have to check your bags at the entrance, and the sales clerks usually follow you like a lost-dog throughout the store. in the bigger stores, undercover security (with super-obvious ear buds) walk around, just waiting to catch someone in the act. books have tags in three places that need to be removed by the check-out girl (and no, that's not sexist - 95% of cashiers are female, mostly young enough to be called "girl"), clothes are tagged, even food, i'm sure, has a secret tag in it.

if i were a business owner (i'm not), i'd probably take most of these precautions. but i don't own a business, so i think it's laughable. especially when they tag little girls' panties that cost less than a dollar each. every single one of these panties (and there were hundreds) were tagged. you know, just in case you were tempted to steal them.