humbled.

today was a day. one of those days that starts just not right.

samil has been sick. mami, estoy malito. my belly hurt. and his fever is through the roof. amely is asleep on our, cold, hard ceramico because she got kicked out of our bed twice last night for being annoying. it can't be comfortable on that floor, though it might be better than sleeping in your brother's pee. because, yes, after two years accident free, the poor boy has peed himself three times in the past two days.

por supuesto, the only class-group i have problems with is the only class i have on mondays, and today was typical. attitude, reluctance. i could do somersaults off the balcony, land on a horse and sing opera and still get nothing from these kids.

the day only got worse i tried to make the kids doctor's appointments and figure out the insurance lio for amely's tubes. it's a huge mess.

then, i met up with some korean friends and some friends of theirs. frustration times six million, because no matter how hard i try to learn that coreano, it escapes me.

they were taking me to see their new mission center in one of the poorest neighborhoods in santiago. cienfuegos. the land of one hundred fires. nowadays, gunfire. because poverty breed violence. and there is not much more poor than cienfuegos.

i've been around. we have amigos who live there, a wonderful panaderia that sells excellent tres leche cake. not to mention the packs of students who actually walk the 45 minutes a day to attend amalio's school. but this.

this i had never experienced.
(and i wish i could show you in pictures, but even that wouldn't do it justice).

wooden skeletons, waiting. un poco de esperanza. a hope that on most days probably seems futile. board by board, building up the house. every time an extra peso comes around, another plank, another nail. another piece of hope. families living in one bedroom. one bed. no bathroom. no privacy.

further down the road, by the acueducto canal, a boy, in old underpants and rubber chancletas beat clothes against a rock; mami wringing and rinsing, taking care of the baby, naked with a bobo in her mouth.

it was hot today. hotter than normal. people sat outside, in the little shade. in front of their one bedroom shacks. some swept their small patch of land. sadness in their eyes, but each time we stopped

hope.

that esperanza because they have been remembered. we are not alone in the world.

today was not a bad day. i just needed a reminder. it's not bad. we have esperanza. for the future, hope. and the ability to share that hope. today humbled me in a way i have not been in a long time. thank you, universe.

not to live in fear.

life is dangerous.

it is, you can't deny it.
tomorrow you can go outside and get hit by a truck. and die.

i don't know that september 11,2011 changed my life. sure, friends have gone to iraq. some have come home and gone back again and again. others never made it back.

air travel? just short of a full body check every.single.time i enter the u.s.a.

delinquency is rampant in santiago, lately. people are killing and not being punished and... in a amoral society, where number one rules, what happens? people are scared. it's reminiscent of september 11 and how people wouldn't leave their houses.

if i've learned anything from that tragic day it's that we never know what tomorrow holds. hold your plans for the future loosely and try to live for today. because it might be terrorists hi-jacking an airplane to kill the will of a country, or it might be a desperate kid trying to make his life just a little more comfortable - it can happen to anyone.

i'm remembering today all of those friends who never made it home. and praying for those who took lessons in fear that day.

semester two.

that short, oh-so-short, summer break is over.

during it, i fought the nasty bronchitis that threatened to kill me in july plus a stomach bug that left me unable to leave the bathroom for days. add to it amely's incredible-exploding ear drums, and well...

summer vacation was no vacation.

amely is better. i am better. mostly we are healthy. and safe from hurricanes. aleluya.

my second semester at the university has begun. four groups. 20 hours a week.
plus, samil started pre-school. he loves it.

like i always i have plans to re-join the blogging world on a regular basis. let's see what i can come up with.

summer-time.

i can't wait for summer vacation to start.

see. universities study year round here. it's kind of ridiculous if you ask me, but it is what it is, right? so, i get a month of vacation starting the 25th. and until then, i am craz-y busy.

we've inherited a niece, a beautiful little girl who can't read or write or even count. after two years in pre-school. and i know reading it pushing it at 6 - but really? you can't count? after TWO WHOLE YEARS in school? it's a problem.

and i've inherited my brother for the summer. he takes my tutoring students so i'm not busting at the seams with work. although, busting at the seams with work is a non-problem, right? especially with this economy. but, i prefer poverty and being with my kids than riches and never being home. so, summer with brother is a blessing.

throw in my own two beauties who are getting bigger and badder every day. samil is still in love with "doing school" and amely is learning more and more ways to get papi to do whatever she wants.

i'm looking forward to filling up our baby pool on the balcony, buying some fresh pineapple and having some time-outs from the real world come june 25th. i'm sure i'll get bored in 5 minutes, but i'm still looking forward to it.

why i suck as a blogger.

see, i don't have internet in the house.

and when i get to a computer, facebook kind of absorbs me.

that, and all of my internet window shopping.

so.

i think once we get the internet back in the house (end of the month, fingers crossed) i'm going to overhaul this thing and get back on the boat.

see you then!

mother's day.

today is american mother's day.

a time to celebrate those women who have raised us, formed us, cared for us, educated us, loved us, held us, disciplined us, taught us.

i am blessed to have a wonderful mom.
who has taught me how to be a good mom to my little treasures.

i love you, mom.

conserve.

it is only 815 and i feel like i've already lived the whole day. have you ever had a morning like that?

last night the water pump that sends us water burned out. luckily we won't have the problems we had in our last apartment (you know, no water ever) because the owner uses the same pump. it should be fixed today, but even 18 hours without water is a nuisance.

the country has been lacking rain for the past five months. reservoirs are low, and there are farmers whose animals are dying in droves. water pulled from the rivers for drinking carries diseases and those water-born bacterias are wreaking havoc on the most destitute communities.

i can't really complain about 18 hours water-free.

water is regulated, sent through the pipes when there is extra. if you're lucky, the pipes dump into a holding tank and you're set for a few days. most people aren't so lucky. barrels and buckets get filled; water to be rationed out until the next time it flows freely. children play in and near, far too frequently children drown.

i can live with a sink full of dirty dishes.

tanks and buckets full of clean water attract mosquitoes. the bite of a dengue mosquito debilitates: pain, fever, vomiting. there is no magic "malaria" medicine for this bug. if you can afford a hospital, you have a better chance of not dying from hemorraghic shock.

at least we have running water, clean and purified enough to shower, cook and clean without risk of infection.

because we all remember how cholera ripped through haiti and decimated a people in a matter of months.

i can mop my floor tomorrow. clean the dishes later. and bathe with a bucket.
because we have water to drink. water to share.
it's only been 18 hours.
some people live a life time with no clean water.