Cabrera, Northwestern Paradise - Dominican Republic

When I first got married, we spent a lot of time in Cabrera. Amalio's dad and sisters still live in the campo they grew up in, and despite the four hour trip in public transportation, it was a nice respite from the hustle and bustle of the city.

We now have cars, and the drive is easier than public transportation. But we also have three kids and, between us, I think four thousand jobs. It makes getting to the campo a little harder.

I do love the beach. LOVE the beach. So, the fact that Cabrera has some of the most beautiful - and kid friendly - beaches on the island, we often head up on our free days. 

When we do make the trip, we always go to the beach and hop around the small ocean-front town. Playa Diamante is our favorite - it's a lagoon with no waves and waist high, crystalline waters. The sand is soft and the kids can play without fear of the waves. We also love Playa El Caleton - a fun beach with modern art sculptures representative of the local indigenous tribe (long extinct) adorning the coastal cliffs. The water is deeper than at Diamante, but the waves aren't strong and the beach is shady and relaxing.  Our last go-to beach is La Entrada, a bit further out of town. A river meets the ocean and the beach goes on for days. People swim in the river and in the ocean. The food shacks along the beach have fresh fried fish and other delicious local food. 

When we leave the beach, head into town and get ice cream from the local Bon Heladeria, and head to the malecon, a walk-way overlooking the cliffs of Cabrera, to eat our treats. We drive through town - sometimes visiting family and friends before heading back up the mountain to where we'll stay. 

 My sister in law has a cute garden where we pick cherry tomatoes and starfruit, and my father-in-law has a conuco - a piece of land used for cultivating root vegetables like yucca, sweet potatoes, and taro root. The kids can spend time running free and breathing fresh air, helping their grandpop with moving the cows and feeding chickens. They play with their cousins and eat fruit from the trees. 

The trips to the campo are often too short, but sweet. Filled with laughter and fun. There is no better place to visit family than in Cabrera - we're lucky to have a reason to return so frequently!

this kid.

when it rains, it pours.

 

we've been having some issues with the transmission in our car - we got it fixed awhile back, but it seems like we'll need to replace it. and of course, because when something important breaks, something else even more important goes. what is that, like murphy's law?

 

whatever can go wrong, will.

 

so, yesterday (or two days ago... i can't count) i came home for lunch to find that the refrigerator was turned off. i asked nelfy and she said she thought i had turned it off to defrost. so, we unplugged it and plugged it back in. nothing. turned the knobs. nothing.

 

luckily i hadn't food shopped this week and there wasn't much perishable food in there.
but, we did need to go to the store, and i wasn't really sure what to do. i was kind of hoping for a miracle refrigerator-repair. it didn't happen.

 

but, when we left the house, there was a flier for some appliance store stuck in the gate. samil was delighted as he loves mail. jewel quick grabbed the flier and wrote samil's name on it. you cannot even begin to imagine the happiness. he looked at it, talked about it, looked at it some more. and then showed it to people.

 

first, he showed it to our neighbor and told her that because our fridge is broken, he was going to save his money and buy a new one. i didn't really pay attention to his commentary until he told us that he was going to clean the backyard and the house and help papi and mami so he could get money. and once he has the money, he's going to buy a new nevera (which he pronounce NAH-vare-Ah instead of NAY-VARE-AH) because he really likes to drink cold water.

 

and if the fridge is broken, he can't drink cold water!

it isn't even so much that he wants to buy the fridge that tugs at my heart strings. it's that somewhere along the line, he's picked up that he needs to work pretty hard to get things. and that money doesn't just show up. of course, he has no concept of who does the paying, and that us giving him money for working isn't really helping to pay for a new fridge. but, he's told us a few times that he needs to work really hard so that he can earn money to buy the fridge.

 

this morning, he helped me to wash down the back sidewalk and to collect all of the dirty clothes. he filled up the dominican-style washing machine (the one in the picture) and was even really nice to his sister. and he'll say "i've got a lot more to do if i'm going to get enough for the nevera."

 

he was even a little disappointed when i told him that the repair guys were coming this morning. until i told him that the "repair guys" are his "friends" amaury and danny (who were amalio's students the very first year he was a teacher at his current school EIGHT YEARS AGO!) and now he's really excited to "help the guys."

 

no longer an illegal.

on morning i began the final phase of my long journey to dominican citizenship.

it's been a road, let me tell you, of ups and downs and waiting. lots of waiting. and frustration and happiness and hope.

 

i've dragged (drug?) my feet on this final step (no pun intended) for many reasons. mostly, i was scared that, because this process had been so (relatively) cheap so far, it was going to cost me an arm and a leg. there are always hidden fees. or a bribe. or some ridiculous trick at the end.

 

when i was informed that all government service fees would be increased beginning on february first, i jumped in the car and flew to the junta. because if it was an arm and a leg before, it would cost my first born child after friday. of course, in true dominican fashion, the one employee capable of doing my process doesn't work on mondays. could i please return on tuesday at two?

 

tuesdays in the pm don't work for me. but i'll be by on wednesday morning, k?

 

Wednesday rolls around, and, yes!, man-child is available. even better? he's got my paper already finished. except it's got a mistake and now we need to wait for his boss to authorize the change. no sweat, he and his cubicle mate were super nice and i got the low down on all the crazies that visit: mothers who are "looking for" their kids' birth certificates but don't know when they were born; a man wanting to know if his wife divorced him without his knowledge; the grandmother who came in to declare her 12 year old grandchild because the mother just never bothered to do it.

 

once the boss-man signed off on the letter change, i was sent to the printer to collect my new birth certificate and then i was sent outside to wait in a line. when i got to the counter, i was told i was missing our original marriage certificate. please wait in that line over there. nine people later i was given a fake certificate and sent to another line where i'd get the real thing and pay (more money).

 

i then re-waited the original line, was given permission to proceed and sent to the final step: cedulacion. i waited awhile, then was sent to the data entry point where a very nice lady took my information even though it was already on her screen and written on a piece of paper on her desk, but, whatever. i then fingerprinted and electronically signed. she sent me to the printer to pick up my own piece of paper, gave me a pen to sign and sent me to her boss.

 

who then proceeded to argue that this poor lady did the wrong process. that i wasn't possibly a new dominican citizen, and how dare she have entered all of that information without permission. and, no! you cannot vote in our country, that is reserved for people who pay taxes! how dare you, american girl!, assume that you get a real id card.

 

she was obviously having a bad day. so i headed back to my new friend at the front of the building who so graciously told me stories just a few hours before. crossing my fingers for grace, he was free! and he marched himself back to crazy-boss-lady to explain, after telling his mommy that he loves her and blowing her kisses no lie, that i was in fact a new citizen. and no, my parents aren't dominican. and yes, sometimes it's not a horrible thing to live here.

 

and just when i thought we were finished, she printed out this gem complete with seventeen last names and told me i'd be ready to go.... in a month. the government doesn't have any plastic to actually print the id cards, so i'll head back on february 28 and finally, finally be eligible for direct deposit (most important!) and medical insurance.

 

i am planning to write a blog post summarizing the whole process, so if you're interested, stay tuned!

Check Us Out. (pretty please?

if you follow this blog, you'll have noticed that 2012 has been a year of transitions and changes.

amalio completed his masters (in applied linguistics) - he actually graduates the 19th of this month. while i'm super proud of him, any grad-school wife will agree, i'm extremely happy we're past this.

i began teaching pre-natal classes and became more interested in women's health and just women's situation in general. the dominican republic has an intense rate of "feminicide" - women being killed by men - usually husbands or boyfriends, but often fathers. my heart was changed and i needed to do something to help.

and lastly, i was offered my dream job - working in a mission school that offers quality education to children who otherwise have little possibility to study. of our 92 students, 30 are undocumented - which means they wouldn't be able to study in a formal school.

i'm tired. really. but it's that good kind of tired of doing something that you love and really trying to make it work.

 our school, futuro lleno de espeanza, is located in cienfuegos, santiago. we have 90+ students from 3years to second grade. it's been a rocky start for sure, but we're working hard to make it work. you can check us out on facebook to see more about our foundation (in general) and our school (in particular).

and! poderosa mujer- powerful woman.
during the fall semester i worked with a wonderful woman named rebecca. she and her family are here in the dominican republic as representatives of their bahai'i faith (you can read more about that on her blog). together we came up with the idea to equip women with some skills, sell their handiwork and use the profits to a) pay the women and b) offer services of necessity to their communities. 

from here on, the pre-natal and community health classes will be under the name of poderosa mujer along with crafting workshops, literacy classes and more!

check us out on facebook. we have some "start up" jewelry in the states right now waiting to be purchased and shipped. 

monumental museum... and amely.

the tourism-factor is low in santiago. we've got a cultural museum... and a monument.
i'm always at a loss for what to do with visitors. there are some rivers to swim in and some of the scenery outside of the city is gorgeous, but the museum gets old. i've been there ten times since may. and the exhibits haven't changed. and it takes about 30 minutes to see all there is to see.

and the monument used to be fun,but now it's not. the craziness was taken away when the city government decided to spruce the place up and get rid of the riff-raff. the fun nights of merengue dancing in the streets are over, but don't fret! it's been replaced by a museum documenting the restoration of the republic. 

what's that? you ask. i have no idea. really. there are some two or three independence days and i get them confused. this one has something to do with haiti. or france. or spain.

the museum is filled with old-school dioramas and confusing explanations. the stairway to get to the top of the monument is worse than the spiral case in the statue of liberty.  but on the top floor, there are statue-replicas of carnival figures. each character of carnaval tells a cultural story - from the robalagallina woman with children hidden under her skirt to the lechones meant to scare evil away.

amely loves it. and since we don't do carnaval, this is a safe place for her to see her characters.

this woman is marchante or a market-woman. she strolls through the streets selling fruits and vegetables from the basket atop her head, flowers from her basket and beans from her apron. amely thinks that's too much work. 

the lechon wears a different mask in every region of the country. he carries a dried pigs bladder to beat people up with, and a rope whip to make a lot of noise. of course, he's amely's favorite.

the robalagallina is a man, dressed as a woman, with lots of little-ones hidden under the skirt. when they enter the colmados the children steal things - like hens (roba: steal, la gallina: hen). amely thinks it's funny.

in stitches....

let me just be completely honest from the start of this post.

i have never bought clothes for my childrens. i purchase very little of my own clothing.

that said. 

i am thankful to my mom and aunts and a plethora of other people who maintain us covered up. 

clothes here are just plain overpriced and under-quality. when samil was a baby, i stressed over it, got angry and then just gave up. i would got to "boutiques" and find just one year (carter's walmart brand of baby) clothes for astronomical prices - and i knew just how much they really cost. 

and then i don't wear small sizes- and anything over a size 12 is triple the price of normal.

if you can find anything over a size 8 to begin with. (which explains the sausage-roll phenomenon)

alas.

sometimes we needs clothes. or we need something fixed. or are just interested in how people make money here.

amalio had a suit made a few years ago for about 200 dollars - it is a gorgeous, tailored masterpiece. i had dresses made for amely and my niece. excellent.

like i mentioned - i don't buy my children's clothes. my mom took care of all of the children's school pants this year and they needed to be hemmed. being sewing-machine-less, i cried to amalio in an effort to avoid hand-stitching 12 pairs of pants.

why do you cry, wife? there is a tailor just three houses down!

this guy is amazing - he hemmed up 7 pairs of pants and tightened the waist of one of amely's skirts - for 200 pesos! that's under 6 dollars. he has a machine and all of the fixins' on his barred-in porch. 

i passed by the other day to see if he makes clothes. well, duh, of course he does. he's going to make me a dress based on the pattern of one i already have. amazing. without a pattern. astonishing.

he's got this sign parked in the doorway to his porch - there is no real sidewalk to speak of to get into his house - but he's proud of his work and tells me he'd like to move out of the house someday.

if you're in santiago and interested - he does great work. email me and i'll let you knw where he is

call u-haul

this summer we moved. it's the second large move i've had here in the dominican republic - and hopefully the last for a long time. when we moved into our first apartment, we relocated in a mini-pick-up - all we had was a bed, a couch, some plastic bookshelves and our clothes. while i cleaned the new place, amalio and his brother ran around town buying a dining room table (hideous - but we still have it), a stove (since replaced), a refrigerator (in need of replacement), a dominican style washer (sitting outside collecting dust) and an iron (since replaced at least 4 times). 

by the time we moved into our second place, we had two babies and three years of life under our belts and needed something bigger than a pickup to move. luckily amalio's students and some other strapping young men were willing to move us for the promise of lunch. it's not easy to move from one third floor to the next.

this move, however, was easier. we were moving from a third floor to a house. on ground level. and i had purged a ton of unnecessaries from our lives not too long before - so we had less boxes of junk (still, the boys will point out, the same number or more of heavy, heavy books).

luckily we were able to practice the patience needed for a move in this country when my dear friends rebecca and josh moved to san francisco de macoris just days before our big move. somehow, i avoided their packing chaos and made it just in time to witness the most incompetent truck packing i've ever experienced. 

You can read more about this moving hilarity here

see that big piece of furniture going on the roof of that truck? well, the basic consensus amongst the movers was that the big, bulky furniture needed to go in the truck last - despite the fact that it isn't a big space taker - tons of things could have been nested into its open spaces. alas, it took a 1.5 hour drive to san fran and didn't kill anyone.

once it got there however... it didn't fit up the stairs to the new place - so it was cut apart, carried up the stairs and then put back together.

since all of that moving nonsense wasn't enough for us we decided to move into our house without our water connected and without the permission of the owner. i know this sounds sneaky, but we had signed our contract one month prior and were still waiting for this fool to get his act together. ridiculously, he gave amalio the keys to let the alarm guy in one day - we took advantage and called the strapping young men and amalio's students to help us move in the next day. we would have moved in that very very day except i had just helped rebecca move out and was pretty tired. besides, our cistern was empty and i refused to move in to a house with no water at all.

i paid this kid 1,000 pesos (about 25 dollars) to fill up our 2500 gallon water tank so we could survive until the water company resolved their problem.

the following day we were ready. all the boxes were packed (mostly) and the boys were ready to carry heavy things. one of amalio's ex-students had access to a flatbed, and since that would be cheaper than hiring a truck, we loaded things up

of course, it made perfect sense to start loading from the back to the front, right? hence the logical packing in the back and haphazard packing in the little bit of space left to them near the front. it took two trips, and each time 10 boys rode around on the back like kings.

we've acquired furniture over the years - we have way more than a bed and some shelves nowadays. not too long ago we got this beautiful tv cabinet from a coworker for a really great price. it took a lot of work to get it into the apartment. i even promised the guys who carried it that i wouldn't move for a long time. alas, two months later, we were trying to get the thing out again!

we've been settled in for about two months now - the house still feels like a wreck and the backyard is finally starting to take shape. it's a beautiful place, and a complete blessing that just fell into our laps unexpectedly. i'll be taking some pictures soon of the yard and the house - but of course, friends are always welcome to come see it for themselves!

carrrrrrrne

my daughter is a carnivore. she loves meat. seriously, ask her what she wants for lunch. CARNE. or dog food, but that's another post for another day.

meat prices are, i assume, comparable on most levels to meat in the united states. except, that most people in the dominican republic don't make that much money. so. when chicken skyrocketed to about 45 pesos (about 1 dollar) a pound, the country was up in arms. in fact, there was a moratorium on buying chicken. for a day. because realistically, chicken was (and is) still the cheapest meat besides salami.

and dominicans just found out what salami is made out of. 

(really, how did you not know?) sales have plummeted. 

we buy our meat at the supermarket. mostly for convenience. believe me, the supermarket is no cleaner than the butcher. i can pick up the meat that looks nicest and doesn't smell and just take it home. nice. but, we really do prefer to buy fresh meat at the butcher shop. and while we're there, in the market, buy some fresh and cheap vegetables.

it doesn't happen often but it's a dream. i look at the slabs of meat hanging from hooks and say.... give me one that i can put on the grill. or chop some up to make like dominicans do. i'm no good in the kitchen, friends, and even worse at identifying cuts of meat. i know when it's fresh and when it's not. which for me, is about good enough.

the meat is cheaper by a few pesos, and fresher by days. usually, if we plan our trips right, we can get there a few hours after the slaughter and get super-fresh meat. and if i smile nicely, the guy will pasar la por la maquina - so that i don't have to use a hammer at home to soften it up. meat here is, afterall, mostly free range and can be kind of tough.

i'm sure one day one of us will get botulism or some other meat related illness, but to date i've heard more problems from the supermarket meat from the not-so-hygienic butcher meat, so i'm not too worried.

what's your favorite place to get food?

"Feminicide"

something horrible is happening in the dominican republic. in the first six months of 2012, 98 women were killed. not in accidents, not of old age. killed by the men who "love" them. fathers, boyfriends, husbands, exes.

there are so many things that i could say about this tragedy. but it's all been said. it's all been talked about too much.

and once it had been talked about until one would think there was nothing left to be said - someone, somewhere decided that instead of spending money on prevention programs, education and support, they'd plan a day of remembrance to the "fallen women."

unaffected women all over the country donned a black ribbon for the day and talked about how progressive they were for acknowledging a problem, for one day, that affects far too many of their latina sisters. meanwhile, all the women who really are affected by family violence, stayed at home with their jealous, machista husbands and got beat.

progress.

the country did, however, implement a hotline for abused women. i believe it's free and that it operates 24 hours a day. and it's a step in the right direction. it's more than the lip-service given so frequently that nobody hears it anymore.

no more blood.

now, we just need to work together to teach women that they are worth more than they think. to teach women that it's not their fault when someone hits them, that the man hitting them is guilty, not them.

one of my pregnant students broke down and told me that her boyfriend has been beating her since they moved in together, and when i cried with her and told her she didn't deserve that, that she's worth more than a punching bag, she told me that nobody had ever told her "it's not your fault." that everyone had always asked "what did you do to provoke him?"

as long as women continue to be told that they are not valuable, and men are taught to believe that they are the rulers of everything, we'll have the same problem. more women will be beaten, bruised, mistreated and killed.

Feminicide: woman murdered by a man who considered her
property.

personally, i've been convicted over and over again to raise samil to be a man. a real man. with values. who cherishes and adores women - who treats them well - and never believes a woman deserves violence. a man who loves god and wants to be like jesus. a man who knows that what makes us different than animals is our consciousness and ability to make decisions and that saying "i'm a man, i can't control myself" is not an excuse for anything.
and the more women who commit to raising little men to be men and not animals, the better the future will look. actions, friends, speak way louder than words. take your future back, and give it to your kids.

fire.

a few days ago, our apartment filled with smoke. it smelled rank and nasty and, well, smoky. 

it's not abnormal for people to burn their trash, but this was a little bit extreme. we closed all of the windows and doors and had to open them right back up again - dying of smoke inhalation and foul smell was preferible to roasting to death in a closed apartment in the middle of june. in the carribbean.

after a while, i guess the wind changed, and while the smoke hazed over the street, it wasn't nearly as unbearable as it had been earlier. i looked to the west for the usual culprits - an empty lot, about 200 meters big, routinely burned to get rid of trash and weeds. nothing.

so i went up on the roof and looked around. an entire field was on fire. 

burning is common here - it rids empty fields of un-wanted undergrowth and allows growth to the plants we want (tubers, vegetables, etc...).it is also not unusual for people to use empty lots as trash dumps because of the scarcity of public services. burning gets rid of the garbage quickly without having to do much work. it also produces nasty smelling smoke for the neighbors, but, hey! you win some, you lose some.

apparently, the fire got out of the control of the burn-ers and took over the entire field, instead of just the square patch they were supposed to burn.

they were able to cut open a water pipe in the street (welcome to the DR!) and redirect the water to cool the fire down. it was smoky for awhile, but everyrthing worked out in the end~!

Dinosaurs!

Dinosaurs have arrived in Santiago. 

The Jurassic Park (Bosque Jurasico) exhibit that drew crowds in Santo Domingo, in very Dominican fashion, headed north to see if they could continue their success. It happens a lot here - whenever an exhibit/park/circus does well in the capitol, it gets moved to Santiago (and usually just a bit cheaper). 

we weren't too sure what to expect, but we piled into a taxi and took off. tickets were 100 pesos cheaper than expected (yay!) and we got there just at the right time - no lines and no crowds.

 there were tons of animatronic dinosaurs throughout the park - they moved and roared and all over entertained. of course, there were some extra "pay" attractions: bounce houses and dino-rides. and the food was super over-priced. but the exhibit was nice, amely really liked it. so did max and zora.

samil was still in the campo, so amely got to have fun by herself
this time around.

she weasled her way into a dino-ride (without
a ticket) but by the end was freaking out.
(it didn't stop from wiling another ride out of the
poor teenage boy running the thing...)

look at zora ride!

the kids got free "dino" brand cookies. and their picture taken,
too.

bugs, galore.

we've always got something in the house - if it's not moths, then it's lizards. no lizards? mosquitos, ants, roaches, flying ants, bees, wasps.

we're packing up the apartment and getting ready to move to a new place next week (more on that to come) and i'm trying to take as few buggies as possible from our old place to the new. gross, i know, but it's the tropics and you  get used to different things. (roaches and maggots still creep me out and i don't think that will ever change)

i found this nest attached to the outside (thank god) of one of our suitcases. it's been in the dark (moist, i'm sure) closet for about 7 months now. it's perfectly made the circles are all the same size. i sprayed it with some off (sorry, rebecca, vinegar just didn't seem like it would do the job!) and scraped it off with some scissors.

it was hard, with a texture similar to recycled paper.

when i flipped it over, it looked like there had been bug coccoons inside (i know that's not the real term... help me out here) 

anyone know what this is? i've seen them before but never in my house. and i can't figure out what kind of bug would house in it.

samil's vacation

samil left on saturday to visit his grandpop. francisco lives the rural life - takes care of cows and chickens and ... well, mostly he is samil's hero. for a little boy who lives to milk cows and take rides on the motorbike, life in the campo is the best thing since sliced bread.

there are some animals near us - we don't live completely in the city, there are some animals - and a fair amount of open spaces, but it's not the same. 

so, since april, samil's been begging to go stay with papa vaca. i wasn't so sure, so i kept my mouth shut. amalio, however, stuck his foot in it and told samil that once school was over he could go. and so, on wednesday, when we picked up the sixteen page report card (seriously? he wipes his butt and says please and thank you, that's all i need to know), samil started asking when he could come.

"mami, put your hands up next to my hands. that's how many days i'm going to stay with papa."

honestly, i figured he would last two days and come home with amalio. 

nope.

he's still there. and when we ask he says, "mami, put your hands up. i have my hands up but take away three fingers. that's how many days are left."

"do you know how many days that is?"

"mucho!"

swim, anyone?

 there's this really nasty, dirty, polluted, contaminated, infested, gross canal in cienfuegos. (if you're from philly, imagine the manayunk canal 18 years ago when they fished dead bodies out of it). it's beyond my vocabulary to explain this body of water.

it's not in my commute, but walking through the neighborhood usually leads me to pass by fairly frequently. the sector is very much urban - yet, at the same time, it's not. it's slum. the streets are not paved, and most pathways are really just footpaths behind houses and across property lines (as if property lines exist). there is little electricity and even less running water. 

i see women washing clothes in the dirty water, men peeing into it. americans with ministries go blue in the face telling the kids not to swim in it. but it's a waste of breath - these kids are often bathing in it. and on these hot days, with little respite from the carribean sun, you need a calculator to add up the number of kids in the water.

 on saturday, we were driving by and saw these kids swimming in the canal - with their mom on the banks cheering them on. this little guy had three bottles tied around his waist with a rope to keep him afloat.

i've said it once, and i'll say it again - necessity is the mother of invention - and dominican people sure can invent something from nothing.

he jumped in a few times and bobbed along, jumped out again so we could take some pictures (shameless,i know!). his older brothers were swimming with floats as well - but the rope was longer and the bottle bobbed around - if they got too far away, mama could easily grab onto their bottle and pull them to safety.

here we are spending money on new floaties - when a few empty bottles would do the trick!