Tuesday, June 8, 2010

the fam van

My mom has a nice mini-van. Why she still has such a huge car with no kids left in the house is beyond me, but mini-van she has. Before they used to lease the van and turn it in for a new van every two or three years. The same van, but newer. Usually in the same color. And always with the same features. And by the same features, I mean no features.

No power locks, no alarm, no power windows.

And we make fun of her for it all the time. Because once a long, long time ago a teacher friend of hers’ car broke down on Halloween, and because it was Halloween she was dressed as a clown. The power windows wouldn’t work, so she had to stand on the highway, dressed as a clown, and get people to go around her.

Why the story? Well, I didn’t even know that we had progressed as a society beyond the automatic ignition. And what I knew about that was that you could start the car from far away, but you’d have to insert the key once you got in the car, right? I mean, come on, I grew up with no power windows or locks and now we can start our cars from the house! Amazing.

We rented a car in Florida. A sexy red mini-van with stow-and-go storage (and if I ever get a mini-van it WILL have stow-and-go) complete with power locks and windows. The guy tells us the key is in the car and I’m looking for a KEY. Who knew that they don’t make keys anymore? The damn thing looks like a memory stick. And my aunt tells me that in her car she doesn’t even need to put the key in the ignition, as long as the box is in the car, it’ll start.

I posted on my facebook while I was away that places like Wal-mart are sometimes overwhelming to me because that kind of super-store just doesn’t exist here. Needless to say, smart carkeys don’t exist here either (unless you’re uber-rich). They’re not things I miss but sometimes I just wish this technology would slow down so that it’s not all so overwhelming and crazy when I do go home.

There’s another story coming about the stupid smart key, but for now I’ll leave you with my complete awe and astonishment at a little plastic box that can start my car. I’m off to hang my clothes on the line and water the plants with the kids. No technology involved in that!

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