Friday, October 17, 2008

cookie cutter.

remember how i recently decided i needed to meet some other ex-pats?

and how i went to the international women's group meeting?
at. the. most. expensive. cafe. in santiago?


this was group of women who are either here with their husbands, are missionaries or... well. that's it. their husbands are CEOs, CFOs, big shots of all sorts in the Tax-Free Industrial Zones (zona franca). or their husbands are missionaries.

sure, they all talked about what "they do." the "good deeds" that they are able to do because they don't work.

all the while living in their huge mansions, driving their brand new SUVS (jeepetas) and sending their children to one of the most expensive schools on the island. in fact, this school is on par with american private schools.

they're not earning a dominican salary.
i liked the women, i did. but i can't hack it with the talk about the country club and going to the gym or how much they have to pay their live-ins: nannies, housekeepers, chefs, drivers...

i don't know. i'm still trying to figure it out.
i'm in a lot better position friendship wise than i was when i first got here. in fact, i'm even better than i was a year ago. i've opened up, made more of an effort and am learning not to be such a snob.

but it's hard.
culture often wins out when it comes to friendship. and, to be honest, there are cultural things here that i will never understand. and i'm sure it's the same for my dominican friends with me.
what i'm seeing though, is that i don't fit with the temporary foreigners either. i'm not in that circle. and quite, frankly, i don't want to be one of them.

i want a quality life. where i take care of my own kids. and my own house. and my own business. no gym? that's okay. no fancy school that costs a fortune? that's fine.

i just gotta keep looking for the niche. find where we fit.
i think its worth the effort.


Jennifer said...

Hi Melanie! I just recently found your blog and enjoy reading it. I'm going to move to the D.R in 4 years, to Santo Domingo with my boyfriend, whose father is from the D.R. We live in Sweden now and for me it really helps reading blogs like yours. Especially since yours is the only one I´ve found that isn´t written by the sorts of expats that you talked about today. Well... I only just wanted to say that I enjoy your blog =)

Jennifer said...

Hi again Melanie! It doesn't matter that you don't understand what I write about, it's not interesting anyway - just the pictures. I hope we could keep in contact, and maybe I could learn some stuff about the D.R from you, and how t is to be a foreigner thereJen

Erin said...

Hi Twinkie! Just remember that you will always fit in with me! :)