decidida.

The view from the top of Pico Quita Espuela, Dominican Republicif you read the blog (amazing! considering how infrequently i've posted this year), you'll know that i've been trying to change my eating and exercise habits.

i've waxed and waned this year - i lost 30 pounds before may, and have more or less just maintained that since i started my new job. we, as a family, have been making more healthy food choices and we recently made a deal to incorporate more active activities into our family-time.

it's not always easy to be active in the ways that i know how to be active with two kids. the hiking trails are hard here, and there are few parks to play in. but we try. playgrounds, riding bikes outside, taking walks.

the last weekend in november we were invited on a field trip with a class of enivronmental science students. we wouldn't be able to take the kids, but since we rarely ever have the chance to take part in things like this, and i didn't need the babysitter that saturday, we signed up for the hike to the top of pico quita espuela.

i'm super out of shape. and not at-all-skinny. i made a goal. i would make it to the half-way house and wait it out. i was sure i would probably be dead before i got there, but i would at least make it there.

i watch biggest loser. a lot. religiously, even. partly because it motivates me, partly because i don't believe that they can actually get those people to do the things they do. i remember watching oprah and maury povich when i was younger and they would have fat people clap their hands and wiggle their hips for 30 minutes a day so they could burn calories. and now? biggest loser has 500 pound men going miles in the first weeks at the ranch.

it was unbelievable to me because i didn't think i had it in me. and if i don't, why should they?

so, i make these half-goals because i don't believe that i can really do the whole-goal.
we got to the midway point. my thighs were burning, i was thirsty and tired. we sat down and... when everyone started getting up to go (and by everyone, i mean everyone except the girls who brought their purses and designer boots along for the hike and a few gentlemen companions) i decided that i needed to do it. i was going to make it to the top.
amalio and i at the caseta de descanso - or midway point
i was fine until we decided to go down the slippery slope to the river-spring to drink. the trees were covered in spines and i slid on my butt most of the way. luckily, there was a lovely young man who helped a few of us girls by digging holes in the mud.

i made it back up and decided, again, to keep going. it hurt. it burned. i felt like i would die. but. three hours later, we made it to the top - and i wasn't even the last one there.
this one kid who helped me down the mountain told me that he admired me because most of the skinny girls stayed back at the rest-stop, and here i was determined to get to the top. (if it wasn't for him, i'd probably still be at the top) gregory, my helper, was as determined as i was to get ME to the top! he kept saying he wouldn't leave anyone behind!

when you've got it inside, you have to pull it out. sometimes we get people who can help motivate us, but in the end it comes down to making a decision and getting on with it. it's not always about losing weight or getting in shape - it's about everything we think we can't do. we can.

just put your mind to, make a decision and go.



amalio and i at the top - a horrible quality photo, but WE MADE IT!

me at the bottom, waiting for the bus. so tired!