Saturday, December 20, 2008

mail order.

i'm supposed to be headed to my mom's school so that her co-workers can see samil, but he's asleep and when i just went in there he didn't even blink when i pushed the playpen across the floor so i could get his clothes out of the dresser.

so, i'm playing on the computer.

i don't think that i ever wrote about it before, but there's this mail-order bride service that operates one of its offices out of our apartment complex. it kind of makes me sick but provides a lot of hilarity, so we deal with it. and it's not nearly as burlesque as, say, a cabaret or prostitute-for-hire night club, both of which abound in the dominican. and the woman whose husband runs it is pretty nice, so who am i to judge, right?

what irks me is that we can't see the site in the dr. if it's a legit business shouldn't the women be able to see it themselves? especially if they could understand the ridiculous-ness of the things that are written.

like this site i came across today - not the one from our complex - that had a funny Q&A section. why should i marry a dominican? because these women are looking for love, they are not at all materialistic, they live in poverty. PLEASE COME SAVE THEM! why can't these women find men in their own country? well, they could, because they're the best women you're ever going to find. they're high-school educated, love their families and are highly religious. dominican men do not live up to their standards. AMERICANS AND EUROPEANS ARE THE BEST MEN EVER! why not american women? (and i quote) the only people who are against our sites are unhappy married men and angry american women. the men realize they could have done so much better. WHAT?

most of the women i know in these programs are lucky to have a sixth grade education, most have children (most more than 1) and are looking for a way out of poverty. dominicans are religious, but not necessarily spiritual. there's a big difference between following a ritual because your culture dictates it and doing it because you believe deeply in jesus. there is a woman who lives behind us. she has a dominican husband who lives with her until her american husband comes to visit. they move all of his things out and pretend he doesn't exist. she's a nice lady, but i doubt she married the 65 year old american guy because she loved him.

poverty is crippling. it's amazing the lengths that people go to get out. and not necessarily out physically. but if a foreign husband - real or fake - is able to send some money every month and provide a little more, than why not? right? i don't feel for the women. and most of the time i don't feel for the men. but when i read the lies that are spewed on these websites - preying on older men, desperate for company, i do feel bad for them. i mean, deep down they must know they're being duped, but maybe some of them don't?

2 comments:

Erin said...

I do feel bad for them. All of them.

Melissa said...

How tragic. You could have titled your post "Male Order" and it would have been equally appropriate. Gag.

It is amazing how much we take for granted in this country...and how we can be of what goes on in other parts of the world.